Yours Truly, Sage

Talk To Me

April 18, 2017

Dear Diary,

Today was so stressing. I thought it'd be easy but it turned out to be very difficult. My classes felt a lot harder and I had two surprise pop quizzes. Not to mention my situation with Kai. When he dropped me off at home, Jae, Jason, and Lotus were already there but, we couldn't do anything fun. I was too worn out and I needed to think so, we watched a movie, I let them play a game while I showered. After my shower, I went to sleep and the next morning everyone went out for breakfast while I stayed home and slept. I basically slept all weekend, only leaving my room to use the bathroom. I'm still sorry about Kai...

Your Truly, Sage <3

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I walked into my first class, English, a class Kai and I have together. I take my usual seat, hoping he'll sit next to me so we can talk a little before class starts but, he doesn't come in. Ten, fifteen, twenty minutes pass and still no Kai. Where could he be?

The bell rings and more student begin to rush in, I stare at the door waiting to see Kai but nothing. The smoke clears and Kai is nowhere to be seen.

The teacher begins taking attendance.

"Adams".

"Here."

"Alan".

"Here".

"Mark Aoki".

"Here".

"Sage Aoki".

"Present".

"Aubrey".

"Here".

A while later...Kai was called.

"Tanaka".

No answer.

"No Tanaka? He's always here. Alright".

Mrs. Williams wrote an 'A' on the attendance sheet and continued. Why wasn't Kai here? He's always here, he's never missed a class, never been late. Never been absent. I started to get concerned, there was no reason for Kaito to not be here unless-

...no, he wouldn't have. His brother would've told everyone already. He's okay, we just have to wait, he'll come through.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

9:30 am

The bell rings...time for the next period and Kai still isn't here. I sigh and gather my stuff. I didn't leave until the class is empty. Once everyone was gone, I walked out, only to be immediately pushed against some locker and held down by my wrists. I look up and meet eyes with...

Kai?

He stares me down, looking a hundred different kinds of angry. What's his deal?

"Did you get the homework for me"?

I took a long sigh of relief, I thought he was mad at me for a second. I nodded and pulled a folded piece of paper from my pocket. He takes the paper from my hand and puts it in his pocket, letting go of my shoulder afterwards.

"You okay", I whisper loud enough for him to hear. He backs up from me, giving me more space to take in oxygen.

"No, I'm not but, I'll be okay".

I nodded, attempting to get a bit of eye contact.

But, he kept looking around.

"Are you going...to the roof during lunch?"

I looked up and our eyes met. I suddenly noticed some things I hadn't before, the bangs usually straight and long over his face, were curled and stuck to his face.

He's been sweating.

I didn't really hear his question but I nodded anyway. I'll remember later. He nodded too and walked away.

No response? Okay.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My day passes rather normally apart from Kai skipping classes. It's lunch time now and my friends are walking ahead of me, talking about whatever. We all get our lunches but I walked right pass the table to go to the rooftop.

When I open the rooftop door, I see Kai leaning on the railing on the roof, just staring into the sky. He turns around when the door closes and watches me sit in my usual spot then comes to accompany me on the ground.

"What's wrong", I ask.

He sighs and looks at my hand, as if he wants to hold it. "You spoke, and you said a lot. You wore yourself out just to tell me you weren't interested in me. I feel like absolute shit because I didn't see the signs earlier. I was always pushing myself onto you and never letting you get an input on it. I'm so sorry Sage, I was being so selfish and now I'm beating myself up for being so damn stupid".

I flutter my eyes and look down at my eyes. I wanna say something, there's so much I wanna say but I don't know how to say it.

I look up at Kai to find him already looking at me with sorry and sad eyes.

"Kai", I start, "I'm sorry. I should not have yelled. That was very rude. Do not worry about apolo- hmm, saying sorry. It is okay", I say trying my best to smile.

He smiles at me too, "Thanks Sage, I hope I didn't hurt you too much". I shake my head and he nods. I scoot closer to him and lie down on his chest, he flinches at my sudden touch but quickly relaxes and puts his arm around my shoulder.

The lunch bell rings but I haven't eaten yet so, Kai feeds me then dumps my plate.

That was pretty strange of him to feed me but, it was strange of me to suddenly get all laid up on him like that.