Owning me

Chapter 12

I cut my wrist. Five little cuts over my wrist, just five, not more on that wrist. I cut the other wrist too. It stung, it stung a lot, actually, but it had to be done. I couldn't take them anymore. I just needed a little silence. Just silence…

Hearing my stomach growl, I realized I was starving. I was fucking famished. I didn't know what time it was, nor did I care, all I cared or knew was that I needed nosh.

I went to my closet and found a pair of cute white fluffy pajamas, with shorts and a long sleeve shirt. I walked out of my room after I covered my wrists with some Band-Aids, not bothering to stop the bleeding. I just had to cover them up.

I sneaked silently to the kitchen, as silently as I could, but obviously because of my clumsiness, or stupidity as I liked to call it, I hit something hard with my foot, making a loud thud erupt in the living room. Not to mention, I hit my effing little toe and it hurt like a bitch!

"Stupid darkness…" I groaned rolling my eyes.

After that I hurried to the kitchen, making sure I didn't hit something else with my toes.

I turned on the kitchen light, and headed straight to the fridge. I looked through it, and found just the perfect thing to eat. Some chips and kitchen probably left from today since last morning it wasn't there. I took the plate, ketchup, mayonnaise, mustard and sat at the counter, starting to dig in.

It was cold, had a freaky taste, buy I was too hungry to wait to warm it up a bit. All I could hear were my moans at how much I enjoyed eating. That until the door swung open, getting my attention.

I nearly chocked with the chicken at what I saw.

Ryan was standing in the doorway, without a shirt on, only the loose sweatpants that hung on him so fucking sexy. Bloody hell, the guy looked fit, no fucking joke. His abdomen, his arms, all of his muscles were ripped. He had beat every single guy I fucked with how good he looked.

He had to be just as good in bed.

"What are you doing up at this hour, princesa? You should be in bed." His voice was so hoarse and tired, which only made him look sexier. He pinched the bridge of his nose, his eyes squinting at the light.

I cleared my throat, snapping out of my daze. "Sorry, didn't mean to. Really didn't."

"Don't worry, you didn't." He sighed walking next to me. My attention returned to the food, so I wouldn't let on how much I would've loved to jump him. That would've been just fucking enough after today, you know?

"Are you okay? After…?" He drifted off with his question, looking pretty worried at me.

I shrugged nonchalantly. "Yeah. I'm fine. I guess I had a low blood pressure. Nothing to worry about." I smiled nudging him with my elbow in the arm, to not let him think it was his fault.

I could see that was what he thought, while it wasn't. It was my fault. The fault of my fucked up head. Not his.

"Why do you look like you just ruined someone's life?" I asked frowning, as I drew a chip to my lips.

He took several deep breaths, his eyes drifting back to mine. "I'm... sorry..." His brows furrowed apologetically.

I tilted my head on the side, drawing another chip to my mouth, that one with ketchup. "What for?"

"Forcing you. I shouldn't have..." He inhaled and exhaled heavily, "I'm sorry for forcing you into something you didn't want..."

"It's okay..." I smiled, "Everyone has moods, everyone is in the mood at times..." I chuckled, seeing him not returning it.