fighting love » l.s.

twenty nine - he likes a boy

When Louis wandered into the kitchen around 8:30, the strong smell of pancakes and bacon immediately filled his nose. He would have slept longer if he could've, but he had drifted restlessly in and out of sleep for the past two hours without Harry there beside him.

Humming quietly to himself, Harry's attention was fully focused on the stove. He was a good cook, but he wanted this to be perfect. He couldn't afford to mess anything up this morning. He needed everything to be perfect for Louis.

Louis walked lazily into the kitchen, yawning widely and stretching. Taking advantage of the fact that Harry's back was turned to him, he wrapped his arms around Harry's stomach, standing on his tiptoes to rest his chin on Harry's shoulder.

"Louuuu," Harry whined, scrunching his brow in a useless effort to keep his focus on the pancake he was in the process of flipping. Still, he leaned back into Louis's body, his skin tingling with warmth at the older boy's touch.

"Haaaaazzz," Louis mimicked, grinning widely. He pecked Harry's shoulder before begrudgingly respecting Harry's space and heading to the counter, hopping up into one of the tall seats.

"Bet you didn't know I could cook," Harry said. His voice was muffled slightly since he was facing away from Louis, but Louis could hear the childish grin on the younger boy's face.

"You cooked for me the first time we hung out outside of school," Louis replied simply, pulling out his phone and scrolling through his social media absentmindedly, his attention still focused primarily on the curly-haired boy in front of him. "Well, not just me. Me and the boys." He suddenly felt a pang of guilt at the amount of time he'd been spending with his fake girlfriend -- fake ex-girlfriend -- rather than his best mates. He'd been a real arse lately.

Harry could feel his cheeks reddening at Louis's response. "I didn't think you'd remember that."

"As if I could ever forget anything about you, dummy."

Harry rolled his eyes, although the red of his cheeks deepened and a stupid grin spread across his face. He turned around with a stack of pancakes and a plate of bacon. "I hope you're hungry."

The two boys scarfed down their food as if they hadn't eaten in days. The events of the previous night had obviously taken a toll on them, but they both felt a lot better after getting some food in their stomachs.

When they finished, Harry looked at Louis expectantly. When Louis returned the younger boy's stare, his heart started beating faster as he realized that he was terrified for this talk they were about to have. "Need any more food? I can make more if you want."

"I'm good. You?"

"I'm fine."

A heavy silence settled between them. Harry's eyes eventually dropped to the table, disrupting the constant flow of blue and green. Louis's heart skipped a beat as he opened his mouth, breaking the silence: "Ready to talk?"

Harry sucked in a breath, finally nodding firmly. "Yeah. You?"

"Yeah."

The air between them grew thick again -- neither of them knew what to say, or where to even start. Louis had never felt so awkward with Harry; from the moment they met, they had been so comfortable together. Now, everything felt strange and unfamiliar. Harry felt the same way, and he didn't like it one bit.

So, in an uncharacteristic burst of confidence, he asked the question that had been weighing on his mind since he had first met the beautiful, blue-eyed boy sitting in front of him.

"Okay, so, I'm not saying that you have to have everything figured out right now," Harry said carefully. "But ... does this mean that you're gay?"

Louis sighed, dropping his gaze to where his hands sat clasped on the table in front of him. "I don't know, Harry," he replied, trying not to sound annoyed. If this was the way this talk was going to go, he needed to keep his emotions in check. He couldn't blame Harry for asking, but he already felt confused and embarrassed enough.

No, not embarrassed. He was definitely not embarrassed of his feelings for Harry.

"You don't need to know right now," Harry quickly assured him. Still, he couldn't help the sinking feeling in his stomach -- it was scary not knowing if Louis was with him for the long haul or if it was just the older boy's "experimenting" phase. "Sorry, that was probably a dumb way to start this talk."

"No, Haz, that's an important question. And I wish I knew the answer for sure. I mean, I know I like you. A lot," Louis said, raising his blue eyes to meet Harry's bright green ones. "So if that makes me gay, then I guess I am."

"You've never been attracted to other boys?"

Louis shook his head, shrugging. "But I'm not sure I've really ever been attracted to any girls either." He took in Harry's shining curls and his wide green eyes, set on his broad shoulders. For the first time, Harry thought that Louis seemed vulnerable. "Can you be gay for one person?"

It was Harry's turn to shrug. "I don't know. I've always liked boys, so I'm not the one to ask."

"Better make that singular now," Louis playfully threatened, a smile tugging the corners of his lips as he poked Harry's arm lightly.

Despite Louis's innocent joke, Harry's heart leapt at the thought that Louis might really want to be with him -- only him.

"To be honest, it's been singular for a while now," he admitted, studying Louis's face to gauge his reaction.

The older boy seemed unphased, although the smile spread further across his lips. "Good. Me too, even if it hasn't seemed that way recently," Louis replied sheepishly, hoping that soon he could erase all memories of Eleanor from his mind.

"So ... you're saying ..." Harry began, stuttering and stumbling over his words.

Louis interrupted, grinning widely, "Yes, Harry. I like you. You and only you." With those words, a weight lifted from Harry's shoulders and his heart soared in his chest.

"Wow, okay. Yeah, me too."

"You sound surprised."

"I guess I am," Harry said. Louis sensed that the younger boy wanted to say something else, but when he didn't, Louis continued talking.

"And I want to tell the boys. I don't think I'm ready to tell everyone at school, but I want the boys to know. I also want them to know how sorry I am for what a douche I've been lately."

"Okay," Harry replied carefully, fear and worry spreading through his chest at Louis's words.

"What's wrong, then?" Louis asked, easily sensing Harry's hesitant reaction.

"Are you ... embarrassed to be with me?"

"Baby, no, of course not," Louis exclaimed, reaching across the table to wrap Harry's hands in his own. "I just -- Harry, I never thought in a million years that I was gay. That thought never even crossed my mind until I met you. So it might take some time for me to get used to the idea."

"Yeah, of course. Sorry I'm being stupid," Harry said quickly, still feeling unsettled but slightly more assured with Louis's warm hand in his.

"Never stupid, love," Louis scolded gently, standing from his seat and making his way around the table to Harry's side. He leaned down slowly, capturing Harry's red lips in his, sending electricity shooting through the curly-haired boy's body. Harry smiled into the kiss, wrapping his arms around Louis's waist and boldly pulling the older boy into his lap.

Louis wrapped his arms around Harry's neck and pulled away for a moment, just far enough to lock his eyes with Harry's. "Always wanna know what you're thinking, baby."

"Always?" Harry asked teasingly. To Louis, the smile on the younger boy's lips almost looked like a smirk -- this was the most confident that he'd ever seen Harry act. "I think you'll really like what I'm thinking about right now," Harry replied, leaning forward to connect their lips again.