fighting love » l.s.

forty - through the dark

"Louis. Louis!"

Liam's voice finally pulled Louis from a deep sleep. He rubbed his eyes harshly. The basement lights were on, and Louis lifted his hand in an attempt to shield his eyes from the sudden, overwhelming brightness. "Liam? What's going on? What time is it?"

"It's almost four in the morning. You've only been asleep for about an hour," Liam replied quietly.

"What's going on?" Louis asked again. He pulled the blankets up toward his face and groaned loudly. He wished he could just fall back into the peaceful oblivion of sleep, continuing to forget the fact that everything in his real life had completely crumbled in just a few short hours.

"You might be mad at me," Liam whispered, his guilty feelings already starting to eat at his stomach. At this point, all he could do was hope he had done the right thing.

"I'm already mad at you! You woke me up in the middle of the night and I --"

Liam wordlessly stepped back from the couch, glancing behind him nervously, and another figure stepped out of the shadows. The mere sight of the curly-headed boy made Louis's stomach flip with a combination of joy and nerves, as if he hadn't just left his boyfriend sleeping peacefully hours before.

"Harry," Louis breathed. Without warning, tears welled up in his eyes again, and he wiped them away as quickly as they came. He was determined not to break down in front of Harry.

"Hi, Lou," Harry said. His voice sounded small. He had his arms wrapped protectively around his stomach, and Louis suddenly felt terrible that Liam had called him. As much as he was hurting, he knew Harry was hurting, too. And worse than anything else, he knew it was his fault.

"I'm gonna go upstairs. Yell if you need anything." Liam patted Harry comfortingly on the shoulder as he passed by.

"You didn't have to come," Louis said honestly, sitting up on the pullout and leaning against the back of the couch. Part of him felt worse having Harry there. It reminded him that he had somehow managed to hurt two of the most important people in his life -- Harry and his mum -- in just one night.

"Yeah, I did," Harry replied, nodding his head slightly as if to affirm his own statement. Louis couldn't tell if Harry was trying to assure him or himself. Taking a step closer to the pullout, Harry asked cautiously, "Can I sit with you?"

"Of course, love," Louis said immediately, scooting over a bit to make more room. He hated that Harry obviously felt so insecure and uncertain around him after what had happened, but all Louis could do was reassure the boy as best he could.

Harry settled in beside Louis, crossing his legs and letting his right knee rest on the side of Louis's legs, which were stretched out in front of them. Both boys were reminded immediately of the many nights they had spent watching movies together on Harry's bed, sitting just like this.

"Are you okay?" Harry asked quietly, breaking the silence that hung between them.

Louis shrugged. He glanced over at the younger boy, but Harry kept his eyes trained on his lap, where he fumbled nervously with his fingers. All that Louis wanted to do was close the short distance between them and wrap Harry's hand in his, but he restrained himself.

When he realized that Louis wasn't going to elaborate, Harry continued. "So . . . what exactly happened tonight? Everything's kind of a blur."

"Liam didn't tell you?" Louis asked, surprised.

"No, he wouldn't. Said I needed to hear it from you."

Louis sighed audibly. Typical Liam -- facilitating hard conversations. At another time, he might be thankful that his friend wanted the two of them to talk directly, but thinking about recounting the entire story another time made Louis's heart sink deep down to the bottom of his stomach.