fighting love » l.s.

forty eight - eighteen

"Harold," Louis's reprimanding tone vibrated through Harry's body. Harry shifted his position so that his chin rested on Louis's chest and he could look straight up at Louis through big green eyes. One of Louis's hands stayed tangled in Harry's curls, the other resting heavily on his lower back.

It was another Friday afternoon. The two boys had just come home from school and immediately crawled into Harry's bed, hoping to get in an hour or two of sleep and cuddling before they headed over to Niall's house to meet the other boys for one of their final Friday night hangouts.

"What are you worrying about now, then?"

Instead of avoiding the topic like he used to, Harry confessed immediately: "I've been thinking about college. How you'll be going soon."

"Yeah," Louis agreed, a bit puzzled by Harry's comment. "We'll all be going soon."

Harry bit his lip, breaking eye contact with Louis. He trailed a finger absentmindedly across Louis's chest.

"Haz?"

"I have to tell you something," Harry admitted, holding tightly to his momentary courage so he could finally come clean to his boyfriend.

"What's going on, love?"

"I didn't apply anywhere."

"What? Why not?" Louis exclaimed. He slid his body out from underneath Harry, sitting up so he could lean against the wall and give the conversation his full attention.

Harry followed, folding his long legs into a cross-legged position, but still refused to meet his boyfriend's gaze.

"I thought you applied when the rest of us did. We all did it together." Still trying to wrap his head around the situation, Louis thought back to the day he sat in the library with Harry and their friends as they all submitted their applications. How could he not have known?

"I faked it. I'm sorry," Harry admitted. "I knew I couldn't pay for it, and I didn't want to ruin everyone else's experience."

"Oh, baby," Louis sighed, immediately reaching for Harry once again and pulling the younger boy into his chest. "You should've told me. I feel terrible."

"I knew if I told you, you wouldn't have applied either. Remember how you don't think things through?" Harry teased, leaning gratefully into Louis's touch. Even the hardest conversations felt easier surrounded by the older boy's warmth.

"You're damn right I wouldn't have. In fact, I'm not going if you're not," Louis announced stubbornly.

"You have to go to college, Lou. You were so excited when you got accepted. I'm not going to hold you back from that."

"What are you going to do after graduation, then?"

Harry shrugged. "I'm not sure. Probably find a job around here. At least until I can afford to go somewhere else and find a better one."

With his thoughts running a million miles a minute through his mind, Louis blurted out the first idea that came to his head, no matter how unreasonable he knew it would sound: "H, I want you to come with me."

Harry's head shot up, his jaw dropping in surprise. "Louis --"

"I mean it. I need to be near you. Even if you aren't taking classes, you need to get out of this house. There are so many things you can do in a college town, Haz. I know you'll find something worthwhile."

Rather than tugging at his own, Harry gently played with Louis's fingers in his lap. His expression was pensive as he mulled over his boyfriend's words.

Finally, he broke his thoughtful silence: "I guess I could find a job there and work for the year. And then apply for school next year?" The hope in Harry's eyes made Louis's heart swell with happiness. "If I work this school year, I'll have saved enough money to at least make a dent in tuition."

Louis grinned widely. "We could be living together. In just a few months. You'll be out of this house, and we'll be out of this town, and we'll be together."

"We'll be together," Harry echoed, butterflies floating around his stomach at the thought. An apartment that he and Louis could make their own.

Gently brushing his boyfriend's curls from his forehead, Louis exhaled deeply, then spoke: "I was hoping to say these words to you at a more romantic time than a discussion of finances, but I don't think the right time will ever come. I think you already know, but I need to say it out loud."

Harry looked up from where he had been focused on Louis's fingers, his bright green eyes locking with Louis's blue ones as he waited patiently for his boyfriend to continue.

"Harry Styles, I am so unbelievably in love with you, I'm not even sure my head's on straight anymore. I started falling the moment I laid eyes on you, and I haven't stopped since."

"I love you, too," Harry responded immediately. A huge smile spread across his face. "Of course I do."

"It's funny saying that, isn't it?" Louis said, grinning widely at Harry's confirmation of their mutual feelings. "I feel like we've both known it for so long, but we've never said it out loud until now."

"It's like you said -- I already knew," Harry replied simply. "I know every time you squeeze my hand to make me feel better, and I know when you always keep a hand on me in a big crowd. Even if you never, ever said the words, I would've known."

Louis laughed, his heart full as ever. "It does seem stupid to state something so obvious."

"It does," Harry agreed. "And it's been obvious for a while now." Swallowing the lump that had formed in his throat, he continued. "I'm sure you don't remember this, but the very first night we spent together, you slept on my bedroom floor. And I had a nightmare, and I thought I had ruined everything, but you took care of me. And you've been taking care of me ever since," Harry said, his voice catching despite his best attempts to stay composed. "And the next morning, you took me out to breakfast. I kept telling myself it wasn't a date, but then you insisted on paying and you let me hold your hand and I kept trying and trying but I couldn't remember the last time I was that happy. Or happy at all, really."

Louis squeezed his boyfriend's hands tightly. "Harry, love, stop. I remember all of that like it was yesterday. I remember holding you in my arms and wishing, praying, that you would open up to me. You were this beautiful, mysterious angel that came into my life so suddenly, I almost didn't know what to do. I had never fallen so hard for someone so fast. I remember everything -- that first night we spent together, and the second night we spent together, when all you had to do was call me and suddenly I found myself climbing the tree by your bedroom window just to get to you. It was the second night, and I kissed you. I scared myself shitless doing that, because my head kept telling me it was wrong but every other cell in my body was screaming that it was right. It felt right."

Louis bit his lip to keep it from trembling before he continued: "Harry, I don't want anything more than to have you beside me. For the next four or five years while we're at university, and for the rest of our lives."

"I love you," Harry said, rubbing his thumb gently over the back of Louis's hand. "I've loved you since that first night, and I'll love you for the rest of my life."

Louis pulled Harry close to him, tucking the curly-haired boy's head under his chin. Wrapping his arms around his boyfriend, Harry exhaled deeply, naturally relaxing into Louis's touch.

"Your love is the greatest gift I will ever, ever receive," Louis whispered into Harry's curls. "And I was an idiot for wasting so much time fighting it."