fighting love » l.s.

thirty two - hi, mum

Harry made sure that the kitchen was spotless before he snuck back up the stairs to his bedroom. His mother had fallen asleep on the couch in the living room with the TV on, and he knew that she would probably still be deeply asleep when he and Louis would have to leave for school the next day.

Still, he opened and closed the door as quietly as possible, fighting back the tears that threatened to spill onto his cheeks. He didn't want Louis to worry about him. He didn't want Louis to think he was weak.

"Harry?" Louis questioned, breaking the heavy silence that hung in the room between them. He stood up from the bed, taking in the younger boy's shaking figure from behind. "Are you alright?"

Harry turned abruptly, plastering a smile on his face and blinking the tears away. "I'm fine, Lou," he lied, brushing past the older boy and hopping back onto the bed.

"You're not."

"Nothing I can't handle."

"I know you can handle it, love, but you shouldn't have to."

"I said it's fine," Harry replied, his voice low in his throat and his eyes pleading with Louis to drop the subject. He scooted back on the bed, pressing his back against the wall behind and pulling his knees to his chest.

Unfortunately for Harry, Louis wasn't one to back down. "It's obviously not fine, Harry," Louis argued, keeping his voice quiet but firm. "I heard the things she was saying to you! That's not okay!"

"I know, Lou, but --" Harry's voice cracked as the tears threatened to return. "I feel bad for making her life harder! I know it's not, um, an ideal situation for me, but maybe it's what I deserve for being, you know ..."

"Gay?" Louis questioned, not even trying to hide the shock and disgust from his face.

Harry nodded, shrugging his shoulders in defeat. "She didn't ask for a gay son. She just wanted someone normal, who she didn't have to worry about getting beat up at school every day."

Louis sat down across from him, crossing his legs and taking Harry's hands in his and squeezing. "You can't blame yourself for that. It's her responsibility to deal with that -- she's your mother, not the other way around. Haz, I mean it, you need to stand up to her," Louis urged him.

"I can't," Harry replied, shaking his head, his longer curls falling over his eyes. "It's not worth it."
"You're worth it, baby. You have to value yourself. I can't stand to see you go through this without standing up for yourself. Especially when you're sitting her thinking that any of this is in any way your fault. "

"It's not that simple, Lou --"

"Yes, love, it is that simple. You don't think you're important enough to change how she's treating you! You don't think you deserve to take up space in this house, in this world, and that's not okay with me."

With Louis's words, the tears welling up in Harry's eyes finally spilled over, and Louis pulled the younger boy to his chest, letting Harry finally release his pent up emotions from the past year as he stroked the boy's curls, whispering kinder words than Harry had heard in a long time in a useless attempt to make things better.

/

As Louis drove back to his own house after school the next day, he couldn't help thinking about Harry's mother. He couldn't imagine feeling unsafe in his own house. Harry had to walk on eggshells around his mother, and Louis was thankful that he didn't have to do the same.

He realized now that he had always avoided the subject of romantic relationships with his mother -- he'd never felt completely comfortable talking to her about girls, which he now realized was because he preferred boys. So, thankfully, he got along just fine with his mother. Mostly because she had no idea that Louis was gay, but that was an issue that Louis planned to avoid for as long as possible.

He pulled into his driveway and turned the car off, content to sit in silence for a moment as he collected his thoughts. Everything that had happened between him and Harry still felt like a whirlwind of chaos, and although the dust had settled for the moment, he couldn't help feeling like the storm wasn't over yet. Still, he forced himself to shake that unsettling feeling as he got out of his car and headed for the house.

The second that Louis unlocked and pushed open his front door, his mother's voice rang through the house. "Louis! Is that you, hon?"

"Hey, Mum! Yeah, it's me, not a burglar with the house key," he replied, rolling his eyes as he closed the front door behind him.

"Don't sass me, young man!" she called back, but as she turned the corner into the entryway, a wide smile spread across her face.

Unlike Harry, Louis could joke with his mum and not risk a drunken fist fight. As he grinned back at her and dropped his backpack on the floor by the stairs, he'd never been so thankful for such a small blessing.

She pulled him in for a hug and he returned it, for once cherishing the feeling of her loving warmth surrounding him. She released her tight hold on him, leaning back to look at him properly and brush a stray piece of feathery hair from his forehead. "Hungry?" she asked.

"Starved," he replied honestly, remembering the silent, rushed breakfast Harry had made for them as they had tiptoed around his sleeping mother earlier that day.

"I'll whip up something quick for you, then," his mother replied, motioning him to follow her into the kitchen.

He complied, hopping up onto one of the high chairs at the counter and pulling out his phone as his mother mulled around in the kitchen.

"Don't think I haven't noticed you've been sneaking out some night," his mother said suddenly, her back still turned to him as she hovered over the stove.

Louis froze, fear coursing through his body as he contemplated denying the fact. "Okay," he admitted. "Yeah, I may have done that a couple of times."

"I'm not mad, Louis," his mum assured him, turning around and placing a sandwich in front of him. "As long as you're not involved in drugs or drinking, or anything dangerous like that."

"No, of course not," Louis exclaimed.

His mother nodded in acknowledgement, continuing, "Now, I don't want you to think that I'm spying on you, but Mrs. Payne told me that she's seen you a few times at the movie theater." She raised her eyebrows in question. "With a girl."

Louis's heart dropped into his stomach. Was this the moment where he told her everything? Where he potentially ruined their relationship because he had romantic feelings for a boy? Not just any boy, though -- this was Harry. This was different, but would she understand?

"Yeah," Louis replied carefully. "I was kinda seeing someone from school."

His mother squealed in delight, clasping her hands together under her chin. "Oh, Louis, this is so exciting! You have to bring her by the house tomorrow for dinner."

"Wait, Mum --"

"I'll make your favorite dinner, and I'll try to make sure your sisters can be here, too. I'll have to check the calendar -- is she vegetarian? Vegan? Any other weird food problems? I can make sure she has options," she rambled, already grabbing lists and papers and spiralling into her typical flurry of planning.

Louis knew he should stop her, and just nip this misunderstanding in the bud before it spiralled out of control. But he didn't, and it would quickly become another addition to his long list of seemingly innocent but terribly harmful mistakes.