Holy Grail (discontinued)

X. Vacant

I'd do just about anything to be able to fall asleep right about now. But I can't; the pain is too much- in my head, my lip, and worst of all, my midsection. Why did he have to kick me so hard?

I don't even know if he left me anything to put on the bruises, or something to take for my headache. It wouldn't surprise me if he didn't, considering he hates me. I rise from the bed, taking longer than I probably should-and head to the freezer.

I'm completely aware of his eyes on my vacant body, as he sits at the kitchen table set for four. I've removed my dress, with no help from him, only to put on a pair of dark blue terry cloth night shorts and a white t shirt. I don't have many options as far as clothes go; only a couple of different things that Luke bought for me, as well as the things I bought that day I went out for lunch (and subsequently got a beating for.) This reminds me that when I leave, my first order of business will be to get a job, not that I have that many useful skills besides waitressing.

And even though I didn't expect him to try to help me, something tells me he knew I'd need the frozen peas, since they're in plain view. There's no way he's going to try to speak to me, so I move to grab the peas from the freezer before heading towards the bunks. 

"Luci," his voice startles me- so much so, that I drop the bag of peas on the floor. "Look at me."

I quickly pick the peas up from the floor, not realizing how intense the trembling in my fingers has become when he's around me. "Answer me, Luci."

"Y-yes." I close my eyes temporarily, trying to steady my shaking hands before turning around. "Yes?" I answer a bit more clearly once I'm facing him.

He looks at me, his eyes going from my deep brown waves (well, my prickling scalp since he pulls my hair way too much), down to busted lip; resting on my midsection. "You should really do something about that," he smirks, indicating my entire body. "It's getting bad."

I drop my head; why did I possibly think he was going to say something nice, or even apologize? Even now, standing here being mocked and completely tormented, I want him to want me. What's wrong with me?

"Especially that lip; I'd hate to see it stay like that," he continues, with the most disgusting smirk I've ever seen.

Who beats someone and takes pleasure in it?

Now I've definitely made up my mind about leaving. I've just go to get my timing down.

"Ok," I reply simply, before walking off towards my bunk. I won't cry; I just won't do it-not this time.

*

I'm getting tired now. It's going for 8 in the morning, and I finally feel sleep puling me under as my head rests against the plush pillow. I'm all alone in the tour bus. The guys came back last night I think, because I heard voices coming out of the main room. Not to mention, I overheard Luke whispering to them that I wasn't feeling well and that it would better if they left me undisturbed, which isn't a total lie, I guess.

I close my eyes, feeling more confused than ever. I wish that he was lying next to me, but I'd want to push him off the edge. And it doesn't help matters that ever since we've been together, I've been finding it hard to sleep without him. So needless to say, I have way too many restless nights. 

The bed dips then and I can feel a body hovering over me before a warm fingertip begins rubbing some kind of ointment on my lip. I must be imagining things though, because I surely couldn't find any ointment when I checked after everyone left the bus. And he surely wouldn't be doing anything to help me.

The finger keeps rubbing a small circle of ointment into my bottom lip, right in the corner. I run the risk of opening my eye, and find Luke hovering over me, seeming annoyed. Despite his cold demeanor, his fingers are soft against my wound. "I fμcking told you to make sure you took care of this."