We're All Just The Same (Matty Healy)

Ryan

Waking up I turn in the bed to see Matty still sleeping I smile at how wholesome and peaceful he looks the room we're in is messy as hell and as I look around I see a guy sleeping on a pile of clothes still with a beer in his hand. I look away and to the window that the curtains have been pulled off at one side letting the early morning sunshine through its warm on my face as I sit up taking a deep breath in, I exhale as I start to feel stir beside me I look down at him as he squints up at me "How come your so happy" he says in a groggy voice as he rubs his sleepy eyes. I smile at him "I'm not I'm just content and the sun is very nice right now" I say lifting my head a bit to get the sun on my neck. Matty sits up beside me to get the sun on him too "mmm yup that is pretty good" he closes his eyes "makes me want to go back to sleep" he says slowly, I jump up and try to pull him up too "nope no more sleeping time to start a new day I need coffee and I'm not going down alone, so get your ass up." he laughs at my enthusiasm and slowly gets up "I'm agreeing to coffee especially if I have to keep up with this level of energy" He finally gets off the bed.

We walk down the stairs the house is pretty cold so I wrap my arms across my chest "I think I have a hoodie in my bag, I'll grab it" Matty says as we reach the bottom of the stairs, he goes through the house to where all the band stuff was left. I turn and head into the kitchen filling the kettle with water, setting it back to let it boil, I then go to the secret cupboard and reach right into the back grabbing a bag of coffee and some cups. I starting hiding coffee in here for those times where I ended up staying over just like this, or when Ry's mum ever came round so he had something to offer her.

Matty comes in handing me his hoodie it was plain black and soft as hell I threw it on thanking him, I start making the coffees one for me, Matty and Ryan something to make him start his fight with the killer hangover he always gets. I hand Matty his cup and we both take sips "oh yes this is what I needed" I shut my eyes and take in the hot drink, Matty chuckles "not the best cup I've had but it does do wonders" Hey! I scowl at him "how dare you" I punch his arm before reaching to grab the other cup Matty laughs and apologies as I walk past him and towards the living room.

Ryan never makes it upstairs after a party so I assume he's passed out on the couch as I walk into the living room I find just that, I look around to find a lack of people usually every surface in this room is covered with a passed out body but now the room only had Ryan, "weird" I say to myself.

"Hey Ryan, morning buddy," I say reaching for the curtains and yanking them open, I hear nothing from Ryan I chuckle, he really is out to it. I turn to Ryan his body limp on the couch I stop my feet frozen to the ground as I look at his body his head lent to the side dry blood from his nose his skin pale and almost blue. The cup I'd been holding feel to the floor as my body filled with shock, "no....no....no..Ryan......please no" I walk closer to him so afraid of finding something that would break me, Matty rushes in as I kneel in front of Ryan, "what the hell are you alrig....." he comes to my side but stops as he sees Ryan "oh god.....fuck no" as soon as his words come out I reach out to Ryans neck to find a pulse but my hands are met with stone cold nothing I yank my hand back and tears pool in my eyes.

"NO NO NO NO" I yell as the tears fall how could this happen no no not to Ryan this is a bad dream, I hear Matty yelling that he called the ambulance but my mind has gone blank my body frozen in place. As I'm staring at the floor I see a needle empty and with blood still on the tip I slowly pick it up and stare down at it, this is what took him.....those guys from last night and there homemade drugs.....they fucken killed Ryan and then they just left him to die that's why there's no one here they all left so they wouldn't get caught by the cops, cowards "fucken cowards" I whisper to myself.

I look up as Matty answers the door letting in the paramedics they walk towards me they are talking to me but I hear nothing, one of them takes the needle from my hand as I feel someone behind me pick me up from the floor I turn to see Matty, tears running down his cheeks, he takes me towards my corner my safe place.

We both sit down holding each other Matty's body shielding me from the view of Ryan, I hold onto Matty trying to get to grips with this "how....why....how?" I whisper "shhhh stop just...it's okay" Matty starts I pull back and look into his eyes "he was my best friend and I let him die" i feel the warm tears fall down my face Matty pulls me into him "no don't you dare this was not your fault, please don't."

"Excuse me guys, I know this is really hard and we want to give you time to be by yourselves but we do need some information, the police are also just wanting to speak with you as well." A young paramedic kindly tells us crouching beside us we both nod and head with her towards some policemen and another paramedic.

We talk to the police giving all the info we know it felt like it was going on for hours Matty did most of the talking as I stared at the man's pen scrolling across the paper zoning out thinking of absolutely everything and nothing but always Ryan, We finally get left alone, Matty seeing off the last of the police we both have no clue what to do now, all I can think of is getting the hell out of this house.

"Do you want to head to mine, I don't think I can be in this house any longer," I say looking at Matty fidgeting with my fingers. "Yes, yes of course..... I'll call George to get us." he starts to tap on his phone but stops "fuck I'm going to have to tell the boys....fuck" his hands start to shake "hey hey" I grab his hands holding them in my own "just...just tell them to come to mine and we can just chill and be all together while we tell them." he nods while going to his phone again reaching George.

We head outside seeing George and the boys in his car we look to each other both taking a deep breath and a squeeze of our hands before we head towards them.

The start to something I'd never imagined happening.