Blood and Roses

6

September 10th, 2010

Dear Diary, 

I went out with the cute guy and I really like him. He's a YouTuber. His name is Jake Webber. He treats me really well. The thing I like is he isn't to perfect like Matt. He has flaws as everybody does. He is really cute and he's really funny. He took me to his house so I can meet his friends. They all are so sweet. They treated me so nicely for meeting me for the first time. I became really close with one of his friends. His name is Colby. He's kinda like my best friend now. 

-Ash

September 15th, 2010 

Dear Diary, 

Everything is going good with Jake. We hang out a lot but not every day. It starting to feel like I'm having a good normal life. I try to forget about my past and I never bring it up. Recently I've been getting really creepy/weird texts from this random number. I don't know who it but I assume its some kids pranking me. I just delete the number and move on with my day. I finally got my own house. I live alone and I feel fine. 

-Ash

Septemeber 21st, 2010 

Dear Diary, 

I love Jake so much. He is an amazing boyfriend. Yesterday I told him everything that happened to me. I was hesitant but I told him anyway. I'm really glad that I told him because he makes me feel better and more secure about what happened. He thinks I should move in with him but I don't know if I should. Still, too soon I think

-Ash

October 13th, 2010

Dear diary, 

I think this is gonna be my last entry. I keep hearing weird noises outside. It is Friday the 13th so I'm a little on edge. Shit, the lights just went out. I think I'm gonna call Jake and ask him to come over. I might be freaking myself out. I'll keep this journal update haha. 

Friday The 13th :)

Dear Dumbass Diary She Always Wrote In,

I loved her a lot but she was dumb for staying. My mind is a messy place. I can't tell love from hate. I hated hurting her but my mind would tell me more and more until she was unconscious. I couldn't help myself when I was drunk. She was dumb for staying. She had plenty of chances to leave and she didn't. You know I was pretty dang excited to be a father but my dumbass had to ruin it. I hate myself so god damn much. I don't even know why I'm writing in this dumb thing. Her friends deserve to know. Anyways, my mind told me to finish the job and just kill her. I tried but I was too weak because of how much I loved her. I let her live. I told myself she was dead so she could live a normal life. I pretended I was happy that I killed her. My mind knows more than I do. My mind knew she was alive. They told me I had to finish what I started. I didn't wanna kill her. I love her. Here I am standing over her dead body, hating myself more than ever. I'm weak and my mind is too strong. My thoughts are too loud. I couldn't hide. I had to do what they told me to do. I hate myself. Even dead shes beautiful. Well goodbye, I guess from me to her. From me to you. I'm sorry, I had to. Ash, I loved you so much and hated everything I did to you. You were the only good thing in my life but my thoughts got the best of me and now your dead. 

-Dumbass