FAYORE

Chapter 30 × Without Her

(Killeso's POV)

I can't sleep.

I can't eat.

I can't bathe.

I can't breath.

Every little thing I do reminds me of her.

When I try to sleep, I'm reminded of all the times we cuddled each other till we both drifted off.

When I try to eat, I'm reminded of how much my Doll loves her food. Especially her chocolate and mac & cheese.

When I bathe, I'm reminded of when she'd spend over twenty minutes simply getting the shower to her preferred warm temperature.

When I breath...gosh I wish I couldn't. All I think about when I inhale is the happy times. When she's cuddle up to me and I'd breath in her delicious scent. Then, when I exhale, I think about how horrible I was to her after her dream. I knew she needed extra attention; I knew she would go into Neglectia if I didn't show her the affection she deserves.

And then...the flashbacks start.

The worst one I have is the most frequent.

The one where my Fayore felt the need to show herself to me in an attempt to get the attention she craved.

-Flashback-

I typed furiously on my laptop, emailing some living, previous Powerful members.

This dream that Fayore had was fresh in my mind. I had heard of a book like that from my father.

He would always tell me that there was a threatening book out there. A book that told my Doll's life story, along with mine.

If someone evil were to get their hands on a book like that, they'd use the past against me and my baby. They would have every gory detail of almost all events in both our lives.

I had originally planned on reaching out to Rossi, Fayore's mother. But something in my gut told me that was a horrible idea and that I would find out a truth that I knew no one would be ready for.

While I was deep in thought, my precious doll was crying in front of me. Suddenly, she turned around and pulled her dress up and her panties down. She bent over, giving me a view of her.

I, however, took no notice as I went over all the thoughts and theories in my head. I didn't even realize she was in the room at the time.

After a few seconds she covered herself up snd looked at me with hope in her beautiful, purple eyes. When she noticed I hadn't even acknowledged what just happened, her eyes burned with desperation and loneliness as her cheeks flared with embarrassment.

Once again, I didn't notice.

-End of Flashback-

My mate.

My girl.

My Little Doll.

My submissive.

Felt like if she exposed herself, I'd pay attention to her, like I was supposed to be doing in the first place.

I feel like absolute nothing. My heart clenches painfully everytime I think of her silky sunset pink and rose gold hair. Or her snake-like purple eyes that drew me in from day one. Or the innocence that flashed in those very eyes.

Her smile, her nose, her ears, her lips, her small body, her bubble butt, her soft skin, her bear hugs.

I miss it all.

But I can't do anything about it. I'm the one who drove her away. I didn't care for her like I should have and now I'm paying the price.

I deserve to die.

A mate is a Lycan's very reason for breathing. A Lycan is nothing without his mate. After one meeting, a Lycan mate becomes the sole reason for their living.

I am so stupid. So f*cking dumb.

All I can do is wait for my Doll to return to me, if she even decides she wants to.

So far, the Blane household has been complete and utterly lost without the liveliness of Fayore Trahvin.

Hunter refuses to leave her personal room, saying he needs to make sure she will have a warm bath and new stuffed animals ready when she returns. He has been running her a bath and buying her one new stuffed animal everyday.

Mila has shut herself in her room. She doesn't come out for anything, not even food. Yoko would go to her room and force her to eat something everyday. I could tell the guilt was eating up my little sister, but I couldn't do anything when I was emotionally weaker than her right now.

Yoko has been trying to be the glue to stick this family back together. She still mainly caters to Mila, but she has been trying to force me to do 'fun' activities with her. All I ever do these days is work out, go to Powerful meetings, and all other work is done from the sanctuary of my home, where I can still faintly bask in Fayore's scent.

Yoko really tries, but I can tell the guilt bothers her just as Mila, Hunter, and I's. I have caught her crying when she was alone numerous times.

That's just Yoko.

She is the type of person to always want to do something. It has always been hard for her to take the backseat when it came to housework and Mila, so I assume she was busying herself so she won't have to focus on the dreadful thoughts that filled all of our heads.

Aeranian hasn't spoken a word since the day we found the letters. I can still feel his pain and anguish at all times. He is afraid. He wants to call out to our mate's beings, ask them if they're coming back and if they're okay.

But he's afraid of the answer.

He is scared that they'll tell him they hated him. That they wanted another mate and that he wasn't good enough. That he's nothing to them.

To be honest, I fear the same thing. What if they don't want us anymore? I messed up horribly and now my beast has to suffer. I've practically ripped away the one person he has intimately loved, yet he hasn't broken away from me yet.

If he wanted, he could easily leave me in the state I'm in. I would die and he would be given to a new born supernatural child to start over with a different mate.

Aeranian could have another chance at mating, but I know he doesn't want another mate. Fayore is our one and only.

Even if she decided that she wanted to continue her life without me, I'd still be fully committed to her in every way.

No. Matter. What.

××××××××××
Ah! I can't believe we're already at 30 chapters!

High five!

No?

Bad time?

Okay...

This was sooo sad to write!

Do you feel sympathetic toward Killeso and Aeranian?

Do you think Fayore will return to them?

Why is calling Rossi about the dream giving Killeso such a bad feeling?

See yah.❤️