Drowning | ✔

3

[A/N - There is a sensitive scene coming up. Reader discretion is advised. I just wanted to warn you ahead of time. If you wish to skip past this, then that's fine. Just know a traumatic event happened in this chapter.] 

I'm bored to death. Sitting here in the church pew, I listen to some guy, claiming to be holy. He's standing in front of a group of people talking about something I, frankly, do not care about. My leg is bouncing up and down, and my fingers tangle around the knots in my hair. 

"And we shall meet him on Judgement Day, waiting to see if we are worthy of the Kingdom!" He shouts, pointing his finger vigorously up towards the ceiling. 

I roll my eyes, tuning him out once again. Sometimes I come to church. Why? I'm not completely sure. Maybe so I can say I prayed to the guy above. Maybe so I stay in his good graces so another incident such as last years doesn't happen again. Silly, I know. But I believe that I control my "fate." Only me, no one else.

Finally, mass is over. I am so happy I almost hug someone. Almost. 

I'm dressed in a short, yellow sundress with little flowers patterned on it. It reminds me of a sunny day in paradise. I once was in paradise, or so I thought. Then dark clouds rolled over the sky and rained on my parade. 

Suddenly, I start thinking about little memories; tiny clips of my childhood passing through my mind. That's another thing about me. I barely remember my childhood or if I even had one. I suppose I did though. And I'm not sure why I just can't remember but my minds all foggy and messed up, so I guess that could be a reason. 

I've never felt the same after last year. It's as if I'm living in someone else's body. As if I'm living in a complete daydream as I wade aimlessly through life like a lost ghost trying to find its eternal home. 

I dig my hands into the dresses' pockets as I walk down the sidewalk, kicking a pebble along the way. My eyes roam over the sky above, over the people milling about, and over the ground where tiny creatures skitter around. 

Some days, I'm just so bored I really don't know what to do with myself. And then I start thinking about how bad it was last year, and I try to find something to do.

Last year.

Last year.

That's all I seem to be thinking about lately. I purse my lips and sigh. I need to stop thinking about it and just get over it. It's done and over. I should be happy, elated, even. But all I seem to be is empty, depressed. Why am I this way? Should I get more help? Tell them that I've started thinking about it again? Would they make me talk more? Share more of my feelings? 

Maybe I shouldn't tell someone. 

Sighing, I look up from the ground, and I realise I have no idea where I am. I start to panic, but I force myself to calm down. Panicking would only make it worse, forcing me to make rash decisions or start wandering farther away from home. 

Looking around, I notice the run down houses and the way this street just screams "poor!" at me. The buildings are almost a pile of rubble, the streets are cracked and broken, the sidewalks are chipped and uneven. A few people are walking past me wrapped up in their light coats or blankets, glancing my way then looking away. How I must look with my stupid sundress in this part of town.

"Well, hello there. Aren't you a pretty little thing?"

I whirl around and come face to face with a smiling stranger. My eyes widen as he looks me up and down, licking his lips. Before I can think, his arms grasp onto me, and he begins pulling me farther down the street. I start kicking and screaming for help, trying to get out of his suffocating grasp as he pulls me to who knows where. But no one seems to hear me, and if they do, they just ignore me. This must happen a lot in these kinds of areas so the people here don't really care. But still...