our troubled love ᵒˡᵈ ˢᵗᵒʳʸ

+~two~+

I checked the time on my phone again before swinging my backpack over my shoulder and heading out the door. Our meeting spot wasn't too far from my house, so I was able to go on foot. I was curious about how this would go. I hadn't really done this with anyone in years.

At this point, I'd forgotten why I decided to do it. I had no idea what had gone through my mind at that moment. I didn't know if it was sympathy, or if I just didn't want to be lonely anymore. But I had already made a promise and I wasn't going to break it. But I still promised myself that I would only see him once and then move on. I really couldn't afford to let anyone into my life again, only to lose them.

I walked for about ten minutes until I was right around the corner. As I made a turn, I thought, what if he doesn't even show up? I thought he was a sweet guy the first time I'd met him, but I didn't really know what kind of person he was. But when I arrived, my suspicions were disproved. There he was, sitting on the same bench.

A smile lit up his face when I sat next to him. That was all I needed to remind me why I was here. His smile and his contentment with the simplest of things were what attracted me to him the most. His joy was contagious and it made me happy again. I just wanted to feel that, feel it every day. It all made me forget the promise I'd made to myself not long before arriving.

"Hello!", he rejoiced. I smiled genuinely, aware that he couldn't see me. Happy, friendly, safe, I thought.

"Hi! I hope you didn't wait long. I brought us lunch!" I hoped that he could hear the joy in my voice.

"It wasn't too long. What did you bring?"

"Sandwiches. I hope you like them!"

"Sounds good!"

As I unpacked the sandwiches, I tried to think of something to start a conversation. There was something I was really curious about, and since I did want to get to know him, I didn't hold back. "Aiden, how did you know it was me when I got here?"

I noticed his cheeks flush, and he laughed shyly. "It's really silly..."

"Please, if you were able to recognize me without seeing me, it's gotta be more amazing than silly." It was true. Whatever it was, it was astonishing.

"Well... Y-you smell like daisies. I've never met anyone that smells like actual daisies, so I can tell you apart easily."

Do I really smell like daisies?, I wondered. I decided to take it as a compliment. I didn't mind having a scent that resembled the one of a beautiful flower.

As we ate lunch, we talked and got to know each other. He talked a lot, while I mostly listened. I was better at listening since I hadn't really talked to anyone in a long time. Aiden, on the other hand, had many stories to tell.

"So, you don't have any friends or family?", I asked inquisitively. At first, I was scared that it would offend him if I asked such questions, but then I realized he was an open book.

"No, I'm usually alone. I don't have any friends and I have no idea where my family is."

"How come? Can you tell me more?", I asked, somehow interested in his story. I assumed it was just because I hadn't gotten to know anyone new in years.

Without hesitation, he began to explain. "Before my mom had me, she never took care of herself, so she wasn't very healthy. Of course, that affected me, so I was born with numerous issues with my health. As you know, I am blind and deaf in my left ear. But I was also born with a very weak immune system, so whenever I get sick, it's deadly.

"My mom never even wanted me in the first place. And when she saw how many problems I had, she couldn't stand taking care of me. She put me up for adoption when I was three. I waited fifteen years. Fifteen. And no one ever adopted me. They obviously didn't want to have to deal with me and all my complications. So when I turned eighteen four years ago, I left. And now I've learned to live on my own."

I looked down at the ground, thinking about what he had just said. It reminded me just how cruel the world was. How could a mother not care for herself when she knows she's having a child, and then abandon him? And how could people be so cruel as to leave a poor boy in that orphanage just because of his condition?

I looked back up at Aiden's face when I heard him sniffle. He was crying. I couldn't help but blame myself for asking him about it in the first place. My heart ached for him, so much.

I took a napkin from my backpack and wiped his tears. It was the least I could do to help. We sat in silence until he was calm, and I then took the time to apologize. "I'm sorry. I really didn't mean to-"

"No, it's okay. I'm fine," he dismissed my apology, wiping the last of his tears with the back of his hand. I knew it wasn't fine, and that he wasn't okay. So I decided it was my turn to tell my story.

"You know... my life isn't perfect either," I started, getting his attention. "I was bullied and mistreated by the other students in high school... But everything was okay as long as I had my mom. She was always there for me when I needed her. But one day we found out she had cancer, and... she passed away a year later. I left school and started being homeschooled, and I shut everyone out. Everyone. Since then, you're the only person I've really talked to besides my dad, who lives on the other side of the country now." There was silence as he took in my words. Then, he placed a hand on my shoulder, probably as an act of sympathy.

Suddenly, I felt sick. Like all the emotions I had pushed down for the past few years were coming back up, and it surely wasn't going to be pretty. I had no idea what had gotten into me, but I started sobbing.

I remembered my mom, her beautiful reflection decorating the mirror as she braided my hair before school. I remembered when she would hug me when I was too scared to sleep, and when she took care of me when I was sick. All the feelings I'd been ignoring were like magma, very calm until I finally erupted. I haven't cried like this in years! What the hell is wrong with me?

I was too caught up in the memories to even notice that Aiden was crying once again. In hopes of comforting him, I reached for his hand, but he was way ahead of me. He moved closer, wrapping his arms tightly around me. Something about it made me feel safe. But more than anything, it felt right. At that moment, I felt all my worries fade away. It was a feeling I couldn't really explain. Safe, loved, understood.

That day, I forgot the promise I made to myself. Because I discovered that I needed something much more important. Something that I had pushed away for so long, that I hadn't realized it was what I needed all along...

Love.