our troubled love ᵒˡᵈ ˢᵗᵒʳʸ

+~thirteen~+

Author's Note: Apologies in advance to Jiden shippers... (yes I just made a ship name for my own characters I'm sorryyyyyyyy!)

"I'm sorry for going off at you the other day. I know it's not your fault." I looked down at the sand as I walked, too ashamed to look up at Anthony.

"It's alright. I know this must be hard for you." He paused. "But... it's hard for me too, you know."

"I know."

It was quiet for a while. Maybe we just ran out of things to say. Or maybe we were thinking, wondering how things would be between us after we got married. Will this change our relationship? Will I ever look at him the same? Will we learn to love each other, or just be miserable for the rest of our lives?

"Four more days..." he finally said. "And everything will change. Damn, that's so scary to think about..."

I hummed in agreement. "Really scary."

Another moment of silence. And then he stopped walking, and I looked behind me to see what was holding him back.

He came closer, looking down. But when his eyes met mine, his gaze was strong. Intense.

"Don't get mad at me."

I gave him a confused look, wondering what he was going to do. His soft expression had changed into a serious one I couldn't quite read.

And then he kissed me.

I didn't react. I didn't know how. We're getting married soon, whether I like it or not... Should I resist or...?

It must've been my lack of resistance, but he smiled against my lips and put an arm around my waist, pulling me closer. His other hand was in my hair, brushing through the curls the stylists had done before our meeting.

He caught my bottom lip between his lips, and I gasped. This felt so wrong. Guilt that shouldn't have been there was taking over me. But I have to get over Aiden one way or another...

I returned the kiss, trying to push away the guilt that still raged inside of me. A war began in my mind...

This is wrong!

I'm never going to see Aiden again, so what's the point?

Aiden loves you, he said so! And you love him!

But Anthony's nice, and I'm going to marry him anyways!

I stepped back, catching my breath. I looked up to see Anthony staring at the ground, his cheeks tinted red. Our eyes met and he smiled sheepishly.

"Sorry," he said shyly.

Silence.

"I have to go. I... I'll see you later."

I caught a glimpse of Anthony's confused expression before I turned on my heel and left. Jianna Bates, the queen of storming out on dates.

I went back to the mansion and into my room, closing the door behind me. I slid down the wall and onto the floor, grabbing my hair in shock and frustration. What did I just do?

"Why..." I said to myself, out loud. "Why did you do that Jia? Why..."

I wasn't getting over Aiden. Not now, and not any time soon. I couldn't. Even if I tried to like Anthony, even if I kissed him and didn't hold back, it would never feel the same. And the thought of that broke me.

I wanted to see Aiden, feel his touch. But most of all, I wanted to hear his voice again. Deep, yet soft. Soothing, calming.

I took my phone from my pocket, searching frantically through my contacts until I found his name. But I found myself hesitating to tap the call button. I can't be with him... Will I just be hurting myself by doing this? Will it make it harder to let go?

I took a deep breath and tapped the button. The phone rang for several seconds.

No answer.

Maybe I was a little relieved. Maybe hearing his voice would be painful.

I left a voicemail.