One way or another

Chapter 11

Liam's POV:

Liam had a hard time making his mind up about airplane food. Unlike certain other band mates (read; Louis) he didn't find it absolutely revolting and unworthy. ("We're superstars goddamn it, where's my homemade lasagne?") But unlike other certain band mates (read; Niall) he didn't ravish it, ask for a refill and something to drink along with it. ("We're superstars goddamn it, where's my pint?") Liam sometimes (read; always) felt like he was traveling with children. Just one of the things he sat considering as he stared down at his, not too revolting, but also not too appealing, chicken noodle soup.

Maybe that was just Liam, though. Maybe his opinion on airplane food was some sort of metaphor for him in general. The safe in between. Not too much, not too little. Never too warm, never too cold. The one with two feet on the ground. Safe and sensible in a group where the main word was chaos.

Perhaps chaos wasn't the word most commonly used, but it had a lot of synonyms. Hysteria, turmoil, madness, frenzy. Liam, however, thought that "chaos" fitted perfectly. And it was chaotic in more ways than one. He seriously doubted anyone could walk out of their hotel room, be greeted by the sight of thousands of screaming teenage girls completely unaffected and think; "What a nice weather. I can't wait to read the morning newspaper." That being said, it was definitely the best sort of chaos. Liam loved his fans. When he said he appreciated every single one of them, he actually meant it. He just hoped everyone else knew that too, and didn't just think they were empty words he was being forced to say. They could scream all they wanted, because in the end of the day they changed Liam's life in a way he could never even have dream of, and he would never, ever stop being thankful for that.

This was, however, an expected kind of chaos. Granted not at this extreme level, but Liam could probably not name anyone famous these days who hadn't suffered from at least a mild case of chaos. But what was not expected on the other hand, was the chaos within the group. Liam could handle the chaos by the fans because he loved them. But he couldn't handle the chaos caused by his band mates for the exact same reason. Liam loved Louis and Niall. Niall loved Liam and Louis. Louis loved Niall and Liam. And that was what made it all so extremely frustrating because that should be enough. More than enough, really. But for some unfathomable reason, it wasn't. Not even close to it. It was like some big piece was missing, and Liam had absolutely no idea what that piece might be.

The thing was that they were constantly fighting. It was always the same story; Louis did something, Niall got angry, Louis got angry, Liam tried to fix it, Liam failed, Liam tried again, Louis snapped, Niall rolled his eyes, Liam prayed to the God he did not believe in, management got involved, they ended on "friendly" terms, all three of them simultaneously thinking it shouldn't be like this why is it like this.

Liam would be lying if he said he didn't think about this a lot. That was just the sort of person he was; he wasn't spontaneous, he liked to think things through. And God knows, he has thought this through. To Liam, this was some sort of riddle and he needed to solve it.

Basically, all of this came down to Louis. Louis, who was the sweetest person Liam knew. And that wasn't a vague, uncertain statement, which Liam took lightly upon. No. Liam had been at Louis' home, had seen him with his sisters, and he was the sweetest person Liam knew. Fact. Not negotiable. Never the less, Louis may also be the harshest person Liam knew. Despite the fact that Liam had seen Louis at his best, he had also seen him at his worst. He had seen him snap, he had seen him say mean things, and worse; he has himself, been told mean things. Liam would never admit this to Louis, because he knew how bad he'd felt, but there had been times when Liam had to physically restrain himself to stop from crying. Niall notices, though, and he gets angry. Hence, Louis gets angry. And Liam tries to fix. Evil circle. Same mistakes.