One way or another

Chapter 17

Harry had this problem, see. He desperately wanted to cry; wanted to cry his eyes out, make his vision blurry and acknowledge the fact that he was not well - that he deserved to cry. However, there was this slight complication. Crying does come with some side effects, such as red eyes, dark circles and puffy lips. A.k.a. features noticeable to people on the outside. Now, Harry didn't care much about what the other passengers on the train would think, but he was, however, concerned about what his mum would say when she'd pick him up at the station in one hour. The thing was that she'd ask questions - questions that Harry wouldn't particularly feel like answering. But if he didn't answer, he'd feel stupid, and his mum would feel stupid, and it would all just be stupid. And maybe it wouldn't even be stupid, but it would feel stupid; which was essentially the same thing, really. And when Harry felt stupid, he wanted to cry some more. Cry at his stupidity.

So it was a bit like an evil circle, one could say. To cry, or not to cry - that is the question.

Ultimately, Harry decided against it, even though that's easier said than done. It's hard keeping it in when your whole body is begging for release. The only thing Harry could do, really, was stare out the window and do his best at distracting himself from thinking about evil circles, blue eyes and his own stupidity.

When he reached his stop, he grabbed his bag and exited the train. The day was cloudy and the morning sun hadn't fully broken out yet. With his bag hung around his shoulder, he walked towards the car park where he knew his mum would be waiting.

Once there, he saw his mum leaning against their car, smiling widely when she spotted him. Harry managed a weak smile.

"Honey!" She exclaimed, and walked forward to embrace him in a tight hug.

"Hi, mum," Harry mumbled into her hair.

When she let go of him, she was still smiling. "How you've been? Had a good time in London?"

Harry wanted to throw up. "Yeah, it was, um. Fun."

"Yeah? What did you do?"

"I, um. Well." Harry took a deep breath from the chilly, morning air. "Um."

Anne gave Harry a concerned look, while touching his arm gently. "Hey, are you alright? You look like a ghost."

Harry snorted. "Thanks."

"I didn't mean it like that. Just, you don't look too well."

Harry looked down at his feet. "I haven't slept all night so I'm a bit tired."

"Oh, of course! Lets' go home so you can rest." Anne went back to open the luggage trunk for Harry to throw his bag in.

When Harry had left his bag, he situated himself in his seat and Anne started driving. Just when he had closed his eyes, he could hear Anne starting to talk.

"So, rough night, huh?"

Keeping his eyes closed, Harry hummed. "Mhm."

"Were you out partying, or?"

"Not really."

"Well, what did you do then?"

Oh, well, mum, you see - there's this guy I've been obsessing about for a couple of months because I was positive he was my soul mate. And then I actually met him, and he was even more perfect than I could have ever imagined. So, we spend one week together, I fell in love with him, and then last night he told me that we should never see each other again, because I wouldn't be worth the trouble. So I went to the train station and waited alone for five hours until my first train home would come. Then I texted asking you to come pick me up. Fun night!