Ocean Blue & You

the last time

Earth. A beautiful, blue world. I remember learning about the planets and moons in Year 7. I'd always look at the Earth compared to the other planets. And though they were all stunning in their own gigantic, intimidating way, they were all ugly compared to Earth. Earth was the planet that stood out from the rest. The one full of life. It had water, land, creatures and oxygen. Everything needed for a form of life was there. But we all took it for granted. How it provides us the perfect amount of crops and air, water and land. This had all been destroyed in so little time.

The sickening air full of carbon dioxide that had wiped out the vast majority of earth had finally reached America, and fear had broken out and spread like wildfire all over the country. Churches were packed with people (even some who weren't religious) begging for God's forgiveness. Begging for Him to save us. Others had resorted to different things, like gathering all their family together, asking the police what to do (even though they were helpless at this point too, and everyone knew it). Some people had even decided to commit suicide before the gas reached them, so they could die quickly and not go through the suffering the rest of the world had. I wasn't against this idea. I want to live the rest of my life that I have left, so I wouldn't do that, but I can see why some might think that way.

Jack and I were contacting our families desperately, but I hadn't been able to get through to Mum or Dad. That was until I received a letter on a Thursday.

I run down the stairs hopefully just as I hear Jack say there is a letter addressed to me. I rip it open, not even bothering to look at the post stamps to know where it's from. I'm too desperate to see what it says. Anna follows me to the front door where the letter was delivered and looks over my shoulder to see what it says too. Jack stands by the kitchen door, watching me.

"Dearest Posy,

The gas has reached England, as you may probably know. We wanted to leave the UK, but the prices on flights have risen enormously over the last day or two because of everyone leaving. We just couldn't afford it. Only extremely wealthy people are taking trips over now. I'm so sorry Posy, but we won't be able to make it over to California where you and Jack are. We've cried so much about this. We desperately want to see your face but we just can't. Not even with all our money scraped together, we couldn't afford even one ticket. We love you so much though. We're both really sorry for the last time we saw you. I (Mum) was completely out of order. I should have accepted you and Jack. You love each other. And I know how that feels. So I'm so, so sorry Posy. So is your father. We both completely capitulate to this whole feud, especially with what's going on at the moment. You have our full blessing. I know it's too late for that. But at least you should know.

You're too young Posy. We can't believe that we can't say goodbye to you. You're both too young to die. But I hope you have every bit of happiness you can with Jack until then, and when you do, remember we are always going to be with you.

Goodbye our beautiful, loving daughter.

We love you so much.

Love from Mum & Dad.

When I finish reading the letter, I think I'm going to cry. I think inside that this would be the greatest mourning of all. The death of my parents. But the truth was, I don't feel anything at all. I felt empty and cold inside, like a silent ocean. There was some sadness inside me, but it was a strange kind. I felt awful for feeling like this. How could I not be crying? How could I not be crying rivers and screaming? Shouting. Running away and questioning life. I guess I just can't believe they are actually gone. I will never see them again. Not even their bodies. They're lost forever. My Mum and Dad. The people who've loved me and cared for me all their life. Both of them have gone. And all I can feel is grey and empty.