Love Be My Oxygen

7 | Fate

Haillie

The rest of the week passes in a haze with my routine of running in the morning, practicing dance on my own during the day and visiting different coffee shops when I have time in the evening. Before I know it, it's Saturday night once again and I'm doing my makeup beside Jess backstage at the club.

"Everything okay hun, you seemed a bit off last night?" Jess focuses on doing her winged eyeliner as she asks me the question.

In truth, everything has most definitely not been okay all because of a certain Mr Cortés. Since the fundraiser I haven't been able to focus on much but him, even as I go through choreography and barre work his face seems to flash to the front of my thoughts.

Yes he is undeniably handsome and has an intense sort of stare that says he knows everything about you but his looks aren't what keeps him in my mind. It's the not knowing if he will keep his silent promise of not sharing this part of my life with the ballet world. Everything I've worked for up until now could be shattered by one bad choice on my part and one man finding out about it.

"Things are just a little... complicated at the moment," I give a slight eye roll at her to make what I said seem light hearted, covering my heart hammering in my chest with dread. My heart seems to be working overtime lately with all the adrenaline.

What if he is here tonight? Would he come looking for me or was him giving me the business card his way of saying goodbye until I reach out to him? The thought of him watching me makes my legs clench as butterflies flutter around my lower stomach.

I stare at my self with wide eyes in the mirror at my body's reaction, I like the thought of him watching me dance. I don't know how to describe it and I know I should feel like he is invading my privacy but somehow I like it.

My own body and mind are now betraying me, bad things will only come from that man so get him out of your fantasies Haillie. I try to give myself a pep talk as I walk towards the stage with Jess practically dragging me behind her.

The show passes just as fast as the rest of this week has passed as I get lost in the music and relax into the familiar dances on stage. My confident, sexy person envelopes the self conscious girl I normally am as I move across the stage giving sultry glances into the audience at nobody in particular.

Once the lights are down and we are backstage getting changed there is a weight on my shoulders that I can't describe. It's almost like disappointment, there's a small part of me that wishes he was here tonight and would ask for another private dance just to see me again. Maybe I'm getting big headed now, of course he isn't interested in you Haillie.

My mood drops further as I chastise myself and leave the girls with a quick goodbye. I scuff my feet along the wooden floors as I go to leave, giving in to my little pity party of feeling rejected.

"You look like you could do with a shot." I turn around to see Marco standing behind the bar polishing expensive looking wine glasses.

I sigh out the bad mood as best I can and give him a weak smile, "Yeah probably."

Without another word he pulls out two shot glasses from beneath the bar and turns around to grab a bottle of tequila from the shelf of alcohols, "You know, tequila is good for you, strengthens the bones," he winks at me before lifting his glass.