Fixable

2

We didn't talk the whole damn ride. She a bitch, imma be a bitch back.

If I'm being honest, I'd rather be with my best friend Maddie and her mom, Demi right now. Yes, Demi Lovato. It ain't that big of a deal. Maddie and I have been best friends ever since we were little.

The crazy thing is, my mom would hang out with us all the damn time. We would watch movies together, just us four girls. We would have girls nights. We would do just normal shit that friends mom's do with their kids.

One day she stopped coming with me to Maddie's. It was shortly after the divorce that she just stopped. She wouldn't do anything. She wouldn't eat. She wouldn't drink. She wouldn't sleep. She wouldn't go to work. She was like that for a couple of weeks until I yelled at her to get her shit together. That's when my dumb ass started drinking, doing drugs, getting high, running away, and fighting. My mom was pissed but she couldn't do nothing about it. I was in control.

Demi started helping me when I would get pissed. For example, if I was finna fight a bitch, she knew how to calm me down. If I was having drug cravings, she would give me gum. And Maddie just watches me destroy myself in pain and fear. We love each other to death but I can't stand hurting them like this. They're the only family I have.
The only family I know.

I love my mom so fucking much but she's still hurting and I am too so we have to go separate ways with our pain. As much as I'd like to stop, I can't. This is how I feel in control.
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When we arrive at the airport, we immediately go to the hotel because that's what happens when you get booked on a show, they go all out with the shit. I look at my mom, wanting to speak to her, wanting her to hold me, but knowing that I just have to suck it up and be the bitch she thinks I am. Because that's what you do when you're hurting. You hurt everyone so they can't hurt you.

I knew tomorrow we was gonna have to deal with a bunch of people and cameras in my fucking face so I needed to get my rest so I don't lose my shit on the show.