better off [justin bieber]

one

"You're such a dork," I stuff my fork into the plate of pasta, holding my hand under so it won't fall leading it into his mouth, "Eat. You haven't all day and I'm not eating by myself."

It  was our one year anniversary. We were watching some corny comedy on Netflix, eating our favorite meal from Olive Garden.

"I'm confused, though, I just asked you a question," He finishes with a laugh, tilting his head to eat off my fork. With his mouth full, "It's honestly a serious one. Why don't we get a house? We both can save up for it... We've already lived together." He starts to hold out his fingers as he lists the things we've done. "We're obviously not breaking up. We both have great credit by the way."

I laugh, and continue to fork some more chicken alfredo into my mouth. This time though, I wait to swallow then speak, "Okay, and where would this house be? If I agree to this plan..."

"Harlington Hill. It's quiet, beautiful views, and a safe neighborhood."

"Hmm, okay nice start. Picked the most expensive neighborhood-"

"Well nothing's too expensive for me and my baby. You know I make enough with this construction job."

I lay my head on his and fork some more into my mouth. He's right. We could get a home together.

I was getting tired of living with my mother and sister, it got draining sometimes living with three women, especially when I heard constant bullshit from my mom about Justin. She hated him. She blames him for me dropping out, and for me wanting to persue my own business... mom's right?

But what I couldn't seem to get over was that he wanted a home, but didn't wanna get married. He always told me he wasn't ready.

I thought what the heck, lemme say something, I've been quiet enough. In all my thinking though, the alfredo tray was in his hands, fork smashing into his mouth, the tray almost empty. "Hey, tubby. I had like two bites."

He chuckles and opens his mouth, "Lemme baby bird you-"

He looked so adorable, head tilted, dirty blonde hair falling over his face that he blows away. "Tempting but I'm good with the stomach ache." I reach out for the empty tray and he hands it over. "I'm all about this plan you've got babe, but there's one thing."

I walk into the kitchen, reaching down to pick up  a lose napkin and placing it back onto the island. The cool marble I'd glued on myself making me breath out a "whoo". I hear him shuffling in the living room, the volume on the t.v lowering.

"We're not married babe. You really wanna get a place, without even having that sacred event? Like what if something happens when we own the house," I'm now filling two glasses with ice and water. "And I don't wanna be in any predicament if we like argued and like worst case scenario break up-"

I walk into the living room, eyes widening. There he was, knee tilted, roses in hand, ring box in the other, eyes glistening with the most gleaming tears. I almost drop both glasses, "Justin.."

"Before you start crying and talking too damn much," He reaches over for the glasses setting each one down on the coffee table.  He's trembling, I can hear it in his voice and it's so fucking adorable. "I love you. I've loved you since we first even started dating. From meeting on tinder, though I can honestly say why the fuck did we get on there?"

I laugh, tears welling in my eyes. "I can't feel my legs." I giggle, as he does and holds me by my waist.

"We've spent so much time together, even though it's just been a year... I'm honestly infatuated with you. I have so many plans for us. I know your mother hates me, but I spoke to her and she gave her blessing. Please, baby... If it's not you, it's not anyone."

__

"I don't know how he could just marry her but not me." I screamed out. "He said it, he fucking said 'if it's not you it's not anyone! What a fucking liar. I cannot even believe..."

"At least you didn't buy the house-" My sister interjects, thinking she's helping the situation.

Sure. Beat me while I'm down, sis.

"I should've. Maybe he'd still be here with me..."

"Gnomey," she mumbles, hand reaching out to my hair, parting them and pushes them past my ears. "You guys both ended it. He started that singing career and you went back to school. Shit happens, you had to expect it, it's been almost-"

"Six months, Naty, six fucking months and he's marrying some girl he's been with for ten minutes."

"Well, we'll figure something out. I need you to be YOU again. To love yourself. To wanna love yourself, not him."

I ignore her completely, "Let's light them both on fire? Get your chanclas on and we'll hit the gas station down the street." I was so intent on setting this motherfucker on fire.

"You sound crazy, bitch. Calm down." She tries to laugh but her eyes are wide, "Gnomey I'm scared for you. Let's just talk and figure out what we can do to help you with your self love- because, mala, you have lost yourself."

"You sound like mom," I'm wiping the tears from my face onto his old sweater. It stopped smelling like him after like the first wash but it was something I'd had of his... It made me feel better. I'd gotten it when we were friends, but I'd always kept it close.

She pushes my shoulder, "We're gonna save you." She starts to stand up and yells over her shoulder, "MAMI! Ven aqui un segundo, porfa!"

    "Oh hell no."