❦growing❦ COMPLETED

its okay

"I'm... Not the most optimistic right now."
Dylan said,

 it sounded unsettled. It sounded hurt... a bit beat. Dylan sounded just that slightest bit broken that no ordinary person would have been able to distinguish. Thomas was not ordinary.

"Why's that?"

Thomas anticipated something about the weird cannibals running around. Maybe about the baby, or the old man who swore to protect the baby.
He tried his best to stay quiet as he looked around for the weird giggles and groans of the skin eaters, seeing Dylan empty some held gas into the car.

The blonde wasn't good with happy expression, and though it seemed he was always happy- everything isn't what it seems. He was sure Dylan had picked up on this, and he was thankful he didn't have to explain. Dylan had that charm to him, and Thomas thought he was more than just a decent person. No matter how much Dylan might reject that idea.

"What if something has happened at WICKED. Or... Kaya's gone. ki, rosa... Ava."

He heard that soft shaky breath, Thomas heard it. It scared him to hear Dylan show anything other than a smile or a frown. So his head whipped back, seeing Dylan's hand cupped over his mouth. He actually looked quite bad, and the sight made Thomas's abdomen flip in the most unpleasant way. He could tell Dylan's sorrow and grief really didn't want to be seen, but couldn't be held back.
"If... That's wicked-"
The britt gestured to the thick tall concrete walls and skyscrapers.
"Nothing happened... Okay?"

Dylan nodded, sniffing, sucking in this huge deep breath that had possibly made things worse. Why? Because tears actually started to fall. Clear, indignant tears dawdled the slightest bit down and... Dylan thought he looked weak. He probably looked so pathetic and weak, weaker than weak. Whatever that was. It was only him though, because when others wept... It was okay. They deserved it. He didn't.

"Sorry, this is so pathetic"
Chuckled Dylan within his tears.

Fast. Erratic, un normal patterns of breathing.

But... Thomas thought the complete opposite of Dylan's statement, and in fact, limped over to Dylan. Thinking about how giving Dylan had been. He knew Dylan had been hesitant to use all of the supplies, give Thomas his thickest jacket, let Thomas snack freely. the small things... Dylan wanted Thomas to feel like everything was still normal. He wanted to treat Thomas for what he's been through that day. Thomas saw this. Thomas admired it, and Thomas thought Dylan was being too hard on himself. He'd needed to be treated. Dylan needed someone to tell him how incredibly strong and giving he was.

So Thomas did.

"Dylan... It's not pathetic. You know this doesn't make you weak, right?"
He talked slow, with a honey-coated voice. Thomas talked like Dylan was a child, but he knew Dylan had never been treated like one. Never pampered, or treated nicely, he saw all the... horrible things Dylan had endured. He saw how much Dylan deserved, yet didn't get, so... He suddenly felt the need to get that to him.

No, it may not be his responsibility, or his "job" but... He wanted it to be. He wanted to be the one to give Dylan everything and anything.

"Crying is pathetic."

"No... No, it's not. It actually makes you stronger. Has to, right? If you're strong enough to show you're sadness, fear, grief, i... Get that. Things are just things, they don't make up who you are. Accept that you're scared, Dylan. Accept it."

He gave him a hug with a lot of feelings. A lot of exception, and a lot of sweet nothings. He knew Dylan might have not believed his words, but as long as he'd take it to step by step, he believed he could give Dylan what he deserved.
"It's okay to cry. It is a beautiful thing, dyl."
And Thomas knew, he'd do anything to protect this boy. He promised himself he would.
"You can let it go, and breathe. Just breathed"
Thomas coaxed.
_

Dylan had no idea why he just... Felt so much emotion. He'd now replaced his synonym from strong to coward because... Everything scared him now. He was unbelievably scared every second, and he hated how he'd turned into a coward. He didn't dare tell Thomas, because he'd be drowned in his honey-coated voice and those sweet words.

Every emotion Dylan had felt lately was because of all this death, and it finally hit him. That emotional switch was gone. Thomas had broken it and left it on the emotional side. Maybe Dylan could fix it, he'd need to in this new world. This world with death at every corner. Yet, he wasn't mad. He couldn't be anything but grateful to Thomas for making him feel human.
Just that tiny bit human.

It dawned on him that... Thomas was that person who could change his switch, and from then on out... He'd knew he needed to protect him.

"I wasn't scared of death... Until now."
Thomas said he said it with a frown and a sniff as they drove past a snorting and groaning cannibal.

"You don't have to worry about death. I won't let it come near you."
Said Dylan with the most solid voice he could muster, keeping his eyes on the buildings coming closer. Maybe he didn't have to be strong around Thomas right now. Just maybe.

"Okay. I trust you."