To the Point of Shatter

4. Aiden

        I let myself into a strangely silent house. It is just after one in the afternoon. I had called home before I left and was concerned when neither Abby nor Chloe answered the house number or their cells. But it had been early. I pushed away my worry and told myself they were all just sleeping in. But now, hearing no talking or giggling or television, nothing but the air conditioning running, I am unsure.

        "Hello?" I call, hands suddenly slick. I put my bags down by the door and walk toward the kitchen, my dress shoes clicking on the tile. There is no one in the kitchen, the den, the pool. I frown. Abby's car is in the drive, Chloe's in front of her house.

        Where are they?

        I feel dread seep into my veins.

        "Abby!" I call more loudly. I hear movement above me and head for the stairs. Before I'm halfway up, Chloe appears and stops me.

        "Shh. She and Ava are sleeping." Relief washes over me and I allow her to turn me back around.

        I don't want to admit the visions I had in my head.

        She follows me into the kitchen where I loosen my tie and undo my top shirt button.

        "So she's okay," I say, turning to face her.

        "Aiden." Her voice is heavy. And the look on her face...

        "What's wrong?" My tone is weak. Because I know. I know as sure as she looks at me bleakly, as sure as coming home to a silent house in the middle of the day is all wrong. I know something has happened. I take a step towards her. "Chloe."

        She shakes her head and tears well up. My shoulders sag.

        "She lost the babies, Aiden." I feel like I've been punched in the gut. I exhale heavily and close my eyes. Chloe reaches out and I pull away.

        "Why didn't you call me?" I demand accusingly, eyes narrowing. I feel sick.

        "It just happened this morning. And so fast. We actually have only been back from the hospital for half an hour. She told me not to call you and by then, well, I knew you were on your way home. I thought it better to tell you face to face." I am dry eyed. Although my stomach is in protest, what I mostly feel is the abrupt rise of anger.

        "Jesus!" I boom, whirling around and shoving over a chair. "Goddammit!"

        "I'm so sorry. She just...she woke up during the night and there was so much blood. I took her to the ER, they did a D&C. Aiden, I'm really very sorry." I am frowning worriedly.

        "Is she alright?" I ask. She wrings her hands.

        "She's sleeping. She cried at first, the she just sort of seemed...removed somehow."

        "I just don't know how much more she can be expected to take." I am agonized. Not for me. No. I will be okay. But Abby. I truly don't know what more she can stand. I pat Chloe's shoulder and move around her. Before I head upstairs to my wife, I duck into the downstairs bathroom and retch until I am empty.

        Abby is laying on clean sheets under the spare comforter in our bed, Ava cuddled up against her. She looks very frail to me, drawn, diminished. I just stand there, helpless, and watch her sleep for quite some time. I left her. And this happened. I wasn't here when she needed me. I knew I shouldn't have gone.

        Her eyes pop open suddenly, sensing me there. Her lips turn down, her face contorts with the effort not to cry, not to wake Ava. I go and kneel at her side, putting my face against hers.