To the Point of Shatter

13. Abby

        The thing is...I love him. I love him wholly and completely and no matter how much I condemn what he and Chloe have done, I cannot imagine a life without him. Maybe I should have made him suffer longer, kept him worrying and teaching him what it's like to lose me for real. But what's the point? We both have made so many mistakes in the past few months. I'm the one in the glass house pitching stones. Which is worse? Cheating on your wife or trying to kill yourself with your husband's gun? Neither is a very forgivable crime. We are both guilty parties for different reasons.

        I have not completely forgiven him, either. I am not letting him off the hook. I accept his apology, I know it's heartfelt. But I will only accept his touch to a point. There is a boundary I cannot let him cross right now because he's crossed so many others. But I'm hoping we will come back to some semblance of ourselves someday soon. That someday soon I will be able to trust him.

        That day is not today. I am in the kitchen putting the pumpkin pie in the oven when there is a knock and Aiden answers the door. We have been up since 6:30am after being woken by Ava informing us that Santa had visited. We'd been up last night until almost one in the morning stuffing her stocking, finishing wrapping, and setting things up under the tree. Now that' it's almost noon, I see nap time in the very near future for all of us.

        "Chloe!" I hear Ava call happily...and the pie slips from my hands and falls to the floor. Luckily, it lands face up so it's salvageable. I throw it in the oven and storm down the hall. How dare she show her face here?

        Of all the freaking nerve.

        Aiden is standing back a little, arms crossed tightly, his face a mask of displeasure. Ava is holding a wrapped gift in her hands. My first temptation is to throw it back at Chloe and slam the door in her face. But Ava is smiling and has no idea of any of the issues between us. I smooth out my face. Chloe looks past Ava and sees me standing here.

        "Hi, um, Abby. I just wanted to give Ava her gift. I bought it awhile ago."

        "Okay," I respond without enthusiasm. Chloe bites her lip, takes a step back. I purposefully place my arm around Aiden's waist. He takes his and puts in around me, pulling me close. We do not smile. We are simply presenting a united front.

                 A look crosses her face. This is not what she's expected. She is...disappointed. She backs up another step and I can't resist the spiteful grin that spreads across my face.

        "I didn't mean to interrupt your holiday. I'll be going."

        "You do that," Aiden says coolly. Ava looks up at him.

        "Can't Chloe come to dinner?"

        "No," I respond flatly as Chloe says,

        "Oh, Ava, thank you but I have plans. I'll see you soon."

        But she won't. Her time in Ava's life is over. I will make sure of it. Aiden pushes the door shut before she's even out of our yard. That's when I realize how my heart is hammering. Confrontation...hate it. But this time I feel like I handled it well. Aiden hugs me.

        "I'm sorry."

        "You think she got the message?"

        "Loud and clear."

        

        Ava's gift from Chloe, a Barbie and three outfits, is relegated to the bottom of the pile under the tree. I will throw them away later with no regret. It is easier to hate Chloe because I don't love her.