swingsets and dance routines ; tyrus

chapter #13: flipping a coin

Cyrus hated making people worry about him.

It brought him back to a time where Buffy and Andi's faces were constantly stricken with concern, where they were constantly messaging him to ask where he was, whether he was with Dylan, whether he was okay. He knew it all came from a place of love, but eventually, it began to make him feel like something that could break at any moment. Something that had to be monitored in case it ever broke down.

He would much rather listen to other people's problems than admit to his own, and it had been this way for as long as he could remember. It was what had earnt him his 'therapist friend' branding in the first place, and it was why he always tended to deflect.

Maybe that was why his heart sank the way it did when the concerned eyes of his parents fell on him the following day. His dad and step-mom were the only ones home, and they were perched on the edge of the couch as though neither of them was fully comfortable.

"Hey hun," said his step-mom, her voice slightly strained.

Cyrus glanced about the room for a moment, feeling somewhat like a cornered animal despite there being multiple ways he could escape.

"Uh - hey."

His voice sounded scratchy even to his own hears. He supposed that crying for hours did that to a person.

The tension in the room was palpable. His dad uncrossed his legs, only to recross them a moment later and glance briefly over at Cyrus' step-mom.

"We heard you up there," he said suddenly.

Cyrus smiled slightly despite himself. For a pair of therapists, his dad and step-mom sure seemed to struggle with addressing more emotional matters with him. He really didn't mind though; he could comfortably say that they had been nothing but understanding and supportive of him.

"Okay..." he trailed off.

They swapped a glance that Cyrus couldn't decipher.

"And we'd just thought we'd let you know that we're here for you. No matter what. You know that right?"

"I do," he nodded, pausing for a moment to take a deep breath. "...Thanks."

Silence fell for a moment, with the soft humming of their fridge being the only thing to fill it. Cyrus averted his gaze towards the ground, nervously lacing his fingers together.

"Can I go out?" he asked quietly.

Usually, the question was received with a teasing smile and a 'wow, Cyrus Goodman wants to go out?', but this time his dad seemed hesitant.

"Where to?"

Cyrus shrugged, not even fully sure himself. "Just for a walk around the neighbourhood."

His step-mom looked to his dad, who had clear conflict written all over his face. After a few more moments of silence, he caved with a small nod. "Sure. Just...Message us every hour or so and let us know where you are, okay?"

"And bring some water!" his step-mom added.

A relieved smile came to Cyrus' lips. He rushed over to the fridge and pulled out a water bottle, before grabbing a coat and heading for the front door.

"I'll be back soon!" he called out.

"Okay!" came his dad's slightly muffled response.

Cyrus stepped out into the cool evening air, welcoming it after having been holed up in his bedroom for the better part of that day. The breeze ruffled his hair, misplacing strands as he began to walk down the street. For the first time since his 'almost' kiss with TJ, Cyrus felt somewhat at ease as he gazed up at the sky. It was dark out and there were a few darker clouds looming overhead, hinting at possible rainfall later on. Where the sky wasn't covered, a few bright stars were beginning to appear. Looking up like this always seemed to help him put things into perspective; even if it was just for a fleeting moment.