Trust Me Again

Chapter 4

It's been two weeks since Ethan's visit. And being completely honest with you, there hasn't been a minute that I haven't think about him and his words that never fail to make my heart skip a beat. Those words that made me fall for him once and are making me fall for him again. Even if I don't want to. We went through hell and high water together. I was there for him and he was there for me. It's being really tough to forget him because, he is the only person who understands what I've been through with my family, myself and my insecurities. He was my rock. My safe haven. He was where I could be at peace and forget every little bad thing that I was going through. But happiness does reach an end and my end was reached a long time ago. My happiness ended the moment his betrayal began.

Today is one of those days that I actually enjoy being in college. I have my beginners writing class with my favorite professor. She's this type of professor that actually makes you want to study and do something with your life. The kind of professor that makes you believe in the kind of love presented in novels from Shakespeare. But then again, everybody ends up dying in Shakespeare. Maybe he was not trying to show how it feels to be in love, but instead how much pain it causes. We are just stupid enough to ignore the end of each one of his novels without thinking that maybe that could be our ending as well.

Back to the topic, she's an excellent professor and after my first day at her course, we kind of bonded in a student and professor kind of way. We talk about how all of these novels that show us how love can be, are just solely and purely thoughts of a great imagination. Because that kind of love simply doesn't exist. You might be thinking why I have a boyfriend in the first place if I don't believe in love. Well, I don't know the answer to that question either. Maybe it is because I don't feel so alone if I can get to call him my boyfriend. It's actually quite ironic because I feel alone in a world full of people. Seven billion to be more precise. But for some reason if I don't have Austin by my side, I feel more alone than usual. Like struggling to breath while drowning. I feel protected when he's around. Like when a brother protects his little sister from the dangers of the world you know? Maybe I feel that way towards him because thats the way I see him. As my big brother. After all, I've never kissed him. Not because I haven't tried, but because every time I try he pushes himself off or finds an excuse to leave. Maybe he's just with me out of pity. I don't know and honestly, I don't care as long as he's with me. I don't think I can handle another person leaving me by myself to drown out there.

Before it was time to go, Proffesor Cottin told us to finish the last three chapters on the book Safe Haven from Nicholas Sparks and write an essay about our feelings towards the end of the book. I had already finished reading the book and writing the essay the same day we started the class so I had nothing to do for the rest of the day.

After twenty minutes deciding whether to go to Starbucks or not, I end up arriving at the nearest one from my apartment which is like five minutes away. Out of nowhere my heart started beating way faster than it usually does. Not paying much attention to it, I kept walking towards the doors of Starbucks. Once inside, the girl asked me what my order was going to be. After paying, I sat down while waiting for my name to be called. My phone started ringing so I looked to see the caller Id and it was Austin.

"Hi love."

"Hey babe. How has college treated you so far?" He says.

"Not bad." If only.

"You don't sound so sure about that"

That's probably because I'm not. There's the fact about Ethan coming back to my life. I'm sure he believes my life is a game that he can play with whenever he wants. But, that's something Austin doesn't need to know for now.

I just laughed dryly and ignored his comment.

"So, how has life in college treated you so far?"