PETER PAN ≫ O. SEHUN

my walls

( A LITTLE MORE TIME )

It's the same thing every time.

The date goes fine, the guy is lovely, but the second everything is over, you panic.

You panic, about how you're not going to be good enough.

You panic, that he'll find about every single one of your flaws, the ones you see, and then leave.

You panic, so you make the first move and leave, and most of the time, you leave them hurting.

"I need to go." You say, this is a regular sentence you utter.

You've been dating Oh Sehun for three months now, and never have you stayed longer once movie night was over. It's not like he wanted that from you, he never wanted anything from you. One of the reasons why you like him.

"Do you really have to go?" He asks, he's giving you his signature puppy eyes. Which you usually found hard to resist, initially, not so much now that you're semi-immune to it.

"Yes." You answer shortly, avoiding his eyes and he gets up to sit on the edge of the couch, he watches you gather your stuff, as usual.

"No, you don't. You don't have to go. You don't have to leave this time." You stopped.

"I can't. I-I'm sorry, I just can't. Please unders-"

"- Well I love you! Nothing you say or do will cause me not to. I'm not like the other guys, I will fight for you. I will always keep fighting for you. So please don't keep taking two steps back when I take one step forward. Don't be scared about those things. So stay, for me." He whispers, staring at you. He was standing close to you now, wanting but hesitant if he should hold you or not, you never usually let him touch you without consent first, another one of your defensives he got used to.

You weren't sure why you were so angry at his words. Maybe because he was correct, or maybe because the thought of him knowing and accepting all your flaws scares you. It scares you, because you know it wasn't just the flaws he accepts, it was you, your entire self. You're scared, so you did what you usually do, you panic.

You burst, "you think this is easy for me?! To open up to someone? It's not. You only think it's easy because you're not the one with the fear. You're outgoing and bright, everyone loves you. You're talented and sweet and while any girl would be lucky to have you, you chose me and I honestly don't know why. I'm the opposite, I'm insecure and sensitive and introverted. So yes, I do have to leave."

You're heading towards the door when Sehun jumps over the couch and blocks the door, getting there a step before you.

"If you never take a risk, how do you know what could happen?! I'm not asking you to sleep with me, I'm not asking you to marry me. I'm only asking for thirty extra minutes. Where we sit on the couch, cuddle and talk about our day. Sorry if that sounds so ridiculous." He sighs and runs his fingers through his hair, getting frustrated with this conversation.

You don't say anything, so you eye him and he gets the message, silently moving away from the door, letting you leave. "I don't even know your favourite colour." He murmurs softly as you open the door, you close your eyes and hesitate but continue out. Closing the door behind you.

Sehun rests his head against the door and bangs his fist on it twice, quietly cursing, "dammit!" Before walking away. He was halfway to the couch when the door suddenly swings open, quickly turning back, he sees you.

You weren't sure if you were doing the right or wrong thing here; you weren't even sure that you were in the right mindset anymore, but at this point, you really didn't care. This felt like it was a risk worth taking.

"Purple."

"What?" He takes second to ask, trying to process that you standing in front of him wasn't a mind trick.

"My favourite colour is purple." You say softly, giving him a light smile.

He returns a large smile of his own.

THE END