Her love & her regrets

chapter#1

Aslam o alaikum guys

Hoorain's pov:
"

Didn't know how was I walking with him, my heart was pleading my body to go back in my room & stay there till he goes so that I could sleep forever, but my feet were dragging me to the place where I didn't want to go. He didn't deserve me & still he was keeping me with him, still he married me. I knew how much I had wrecked him, he hated me....

We were standing at the main gate of my house and now I was going to my new house(my husband's house). I looked at the car in which I was going to sit but before that I looked at my mother who was trying to be strong enough to not cry in front of me, but I didn't want her to test herself that much so I hugged her tightly, that's when a hiccup erupted from her mouth and she started crying, Tears slipped from her eyes. Just because of me my father was admitted in hospital and my mother was so broken.

"Ami (mother) tell Baba (father) that I've got married, now I'll never be the cause of his problems" I whispered in her ear, she shook her head while silently beseeching me through her eyes to not say such things. My parents were so innocent they loved me so much but I never became the daughter they deserved, I never proved myself. I broke their trust, destroyed so many lives but look that day in the name of marriage I was being punished.

We separated from eachother when Fahad cleared his throat. I sat in the car on front seat, Fahad drove the car. As car was passing by I looked at the side mirror through which I looked at Ami who was crying while keeping her both hands on her face.

Fahad was clenching his jaw in our whole half an hour journey, it was obvious that he was angry but was silent due to my condition.

We reached at his beautiful house, it was more than a house. There were two guards at the main gate who were wearing white uniforms, they opened the gate, Fahad entered.

He stormed out of the car and went inside, one of the guard opened the car door for me, he was probably in his 50's, he had grey hair and beard. I got out of car and was taking slow steps towards the main door when a woman in her mid thirties came and stood in front of me.

She looked at me and her face became rigid.

"come inside ma'am" she said in a very impolite way. I nodded and followed her.

The inside of the house was also amazing but at that moment nothing was attracting me. Nothing was making me drool over it, in normal situation I would have been so happy and excited to live in that house but nothing was normal now...

There were probably 6 rooms, a living area, a dining area and a kitchen on downstairs where I was standing. I didn't know about the upstairs because that woman didn't lead me there.

She stopped in front of the room and opened the door for me, I entered inside, it was also big and beautiful with king size bed in the centre of the room with side tables, dressing table was on the corner of the room after dressing table there was attached bathroom, on the other side there was window and couch where one can sit and stare at the sky which was decorated with little stars, after couch on some distance there was walk in closet.

She cleared her throat when saw me engrossed in my thoughts. I composed myself.

"This is your room ma'am,if you need anything there's intercom beside your bed" she was speaking like robot, she was about to go when I asked her about Fahad.

"fahad bhai's (brother) room is  upstairs, it's not safe for you and baby to walk up the stairs, that's why you've been provided this room"

"one thing more Fahad bhai don't want you to come outside until he orders." she said and went from there.
I gulped the lump in my throat, now it was me and my loneliness only. Tear slipped from my eye as I dragged myself to the bed, my gaze involuntarily went to the mirror and somehow I was shocked to see myself.
I was wearing black shalwar kameez(dress) with white Dupatta (veil), once attractive and glowing face was now looking ugly and rough, dark circles were prominent, that trauma, then pregnancy and then marriage with Fahad, these all things were unbearable. If there was any other girl instead of me, she would've already been died, but maybe I was stubborn for still being alive.

It had been a month since I saw myself in mirror because previous month when my personality, my self respect, my pride was shattered so I broke the mirror of my room because I didn't want to see myself.

I terribly wanted to break this mirror also but this was not my house, it was Fahad's. I silently laid on the bed and closed my eyes.

Flashback

"I'm so excited Aaliyaan, there are only five days in our marriage" my eyes were sparkling with the immense happiness I was feeling at that time. Aaliyaan chuckled at my excitement and took hold of my hands.

"Hoorain you are my diamond, you've been so lucky for me. Look now we have everything that we wanted from life" Aaliyaan was looking in my eyes and his words especially "Diamond" captured my heart, he had this quality to attract anyone with his words.

" yeah look money, business, power we've everything" I repeated and we both smiled at eachother.

Flashback ends

Now we both were empty-handed, fate slapped us with very hard and brutal reality. Tears sprinted from my eyes as I was thinking about my past and present, didn't know what future was holding for me.

Loud knock on the door pushed me from the slumber , due to crying so much, sleep consumed me.

As I stood from the bed to open the door, Fahad barked in the room, noise of keys indicated that he opened it with spare keys.

"Are you out of your senses? Where were you? Don't you think....
He started yelling at me but stopped when looked at me.

"Where were you" this time he was trying to calm down his nerves maybe, but still his brown eyes were blazing fire.

"I.. I was sleeping, didn't know that you were knocking, maybe mistakenly I locked the door" my voice was stuck in my throat I don't know how I spoke in front of him but I really needed water at that time.

"listen Hoorain I don't care about you and your sleep but if anything happens to my child, I would not leave you alive, it's not your so called home where you'll live the way you want, it's my house so you've to live here according to my rules" he pointed his index finger at me and I nodded like a lost child.

"Now go it's your dinner time" he ordered and I followed that same woman who showed me this room. I didn't know her name.

As I was going with her, I asked her name, she stopped in her tracks and looked at me like I've asked something very personal but she resumed walking and told me her name.
Her name was Nafeesa.

Nafeesa gave me very light but very healthy food according to my pregnancy month. I ate it but felt nauseas so she quickly gave me garlic to eat and pressed at the vein on my wrist, due to which nauseous feeling diappeared.

She gave me my food chart and admonished me about my routine which was bit difficult but was good for the baby.

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So guys it was the first chapter, I hope you would like it.

I know there are some confusions in this chapter about the characters and their past but everything will be clear in the upcoming chapters.

Stay blessed :)

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