Letters To My Future Husband

I miss you...

Hey!
Dear future husband!
I hope you're doing well ( even though it's not the same thing for me right now)
I told you I love being independent and having my space in the other letter I sent to you.
Actually that is true ,but now , I am feeling like I need you , and perhaps I love being independent but I cannot be independent.
I need you, and I miss you.
There are a lot of people in my life that are showing love to me everyday : my best friends , my family , those who can be family but are not yet ( I think I don't need to explain what that means )
But you , you are a part of me that is missing.
I used to say , that I need to be perfectly fulfilled by the love of God so I will need no longer to receive your love. Well I might be wrong.
My professor of philosophy told us that love implicates the two of a couple to give love to each other . It's about giving ,but also about receiving, like it's explained in the myth of Poros and Pena , in a book of Plato.
So I conclude that I have to have something to give to you , and that will come from all the love that God, and friends will give me. But I have to be in a position to receive what you can give to me.
And that is the point. I miss you. I miss that part of me that only you can give to me. I miss your ways to say « I love you » to me , because it will give me butterflies ( something that can't happen if my brother tells me the same thing)
I miss the fact that you can look at me in the eyes , and express your love just by your  look. I miss the fact that I can tell you're mine.
I definitely miss you. And it's getting harder to think that I have to wait to see you, to be yours.
But I think , the more I want to see you , the more I will be so happy the day I will finally meet you.

I don't envy people who are in relationship, I envy those who can talk , and be in touch with you right now .
I have no idea what you are doing right now . And I am pretty sure you're not thinking about me . But I hope you miss me too, somewhere in your heart , you can tell yourself that someone is missing out in your life.

I know it's not the time to think about you, because I have to prepare my exams . But I really want to see you, I want to escape this situation where I am right now , and be in another world with you.
I want to forget everything about me ,I want to be absorbed by you. ( saying it like this is really strange )
I want you to know that there is someone out there who loves you , yeah it's definitively Jesus but there is also me . Like a song of Stellar Kart says it well : you got me and Jesus.
And I want so much to be there for you , you know , when you will be in a situation similar like mine right now , missing you. I want to tell you I love you and I want  to be that one girl giving you butterflies XD.

This letter is beginning to be boring.
I am gonna stop it here.
I love you my future husband.
I love you A
And I hope that you will love me again someday.
Because I can't stop loving you .. I just can't...
I am trying to not think about you , but my crazy heart keeps beating faster when I think about you .

Me
🐈