*a/n this is the first of a very odd writing trip I did when I wanted to make poems and short stories about the life of a potato and feeling like a potato. There are more, oh yes, there are more. Sometimes it's scary. This time it's inspiring. Do you identify as a potato? Because there's a lot to it!
Title: Dang Right, I'm a Potato
You can not convince me
That I am not a potato.
A warm,
Uncomfortable,
Unearthed
Potato.
Stop it!
I will rip out your lies
With the lean of my little fingers
And every single bone in your lying body will snap
Because your lies
Are dangerous.
If I am to believe what you say about
'believing' in yourself
I'm going to need proof.
Hard earned proof
That PROVES I was not born a
Misshapen
Root
Vegetable.
My potato eyes implore you.
Just kidding.
Potatoes can't see!!
JUST.
LIKE.
ME.
Well, I can see a little better than a
Potato.
On average, though,
Anyone can.
Carrots see better than potatoes
And by no means am I insulting carrots
No ma'am. No sir.
Its just,
Carrots "C" better.
Yeah. I did.
But I'm not a potato because I can't see very well.
I can see the "c" by the sea pretty alright actually.
I'm a potato because I look like a lump...
But somehow I transform.
Into hash browns,
Wedges,
Soups,
Baked and Boiled goods,
Waffle fries,
Curly fries,
French fries,
Steak fries,
I can be a lot of fries.
But I can be elegant enough,
You could put me in a purée
Or next to freaking chives!
Or I could turn into the equivalent of apple sauce for vegetables!!
MASHED POTATO.
It only takes one to tango
As a potato.
And I tango by myself everyday!
I'm an adapter food!
Other vegetables look UP to me while I don't look because I'm buried in dirt!
And I don't disappoint my brethren.
Because when you call yourself a freaking potato...
You better live up to it.
