Our Last Moments

8. A Sorrowful Smile (Neru's POV)

She put her phone right on her ear as she ran towards the car, terrified. The dial tone kept ringing, Hirate hadn't yet to pick up, it kept ringing.. and ringing, but no one on the other line was answering. Neru was panting.

She got inside the car and the started the engine. She keep trying to call Hirate, putting her phone on the passenger seat next to her with the loudspeaker on.

It was past midnight. The road was very quiet, almost no other cars to be seen, allowing Neru to step on the gas even harder. She's praying she wouldn't be too late.

Techi.. pick up. Please.. pick up. Don't do it.

As she was mumbling these words in her head, a notification bell from her phone rang, which made her gasp in surprise.

Her hand was shaking as she picked that phone up, carefully unlocked it as she drove. It was a LINE chat from Hirate Yurina. Neru's lips trembled and her vision was quickly clouded with tears as she read her message,

"I'm so sorry, Neru. I have to."

It was the last thing she ever said to her. 

~~~

(flashback)

*knock knock*

Neru stood behind the door which was slightly opened. She was positive the owner of this apartment was inside and already expected her to come. Hirate hadn't been attending the lesson nor responding to Neru's calls. The Nagasaki girl was getting worried. So after a long day training at the academy, Neru decided to stop by and check on her.

"Techi can I come in?"

"Un," A faint response from a distance was heard which signaled Neru to get inside.

It didn't take her long until she saw her best friend, just lying on her side under the blanket, facing the wall. Neru then sat on her bed, caressing Hirate's messy hair gently from behind.

"Manaka told me about your breakdown last night. You're not coming to class, you're not answering my phone or texts.. Have you eaten anything today?"

Hirate didn't bother to turn around to face Neru, let alone answering her. Neru could guess that the answer was 'no'.

"It'll be raining soon. You should go home, Neru," Hirate said in a low voice.

Disappointed on how Hirate avoided her question, Neru sighed. She moved her face closer to Hirate and that was when she saw how wet Hirate's pillow was. Neru could tell it was because of her tears.

"I don't care about rain. I wanna stay with you tonight. Can I?"

Hirate buried her face even deeper into the pillow, not letting Neru to see her face.

"Neru must be tired. It's better if you go home and rest."

"What did I do to make you push me away like this?"

Hirate sighed, "Nothing! Gosh, Neru, I just want to be left alone!"

"How long are you going to keep doing this? Techi it's been days.."

Hirate let out a small groan and swiftly got out of bed. She walked to the sink to wash her face, looking herself in the mirror, where she could also see Neru looking at her from the reflection.

Then, she turned around, finally facing Neru, "What do you want me to do?"

Stunned, Neru's jaw was opened but she couldn't say a single word. She wasn't expecting Hirate to be this rude.

"I'm fine, Neru. Now go home, before it starts raining."

Neru stared at Hirate curtly, then stood up,"Quit the attitude, I'm sick of it," she said, feeling her patience grow thin.

"What is wrong with you?! Manaka said you started drinking and Akane said you're having panic attacks?" Hirate could sense the anger and disappointment in Neru's eyes. Something she wished she could avoid.

"It's nothing, Neru. They're just being hyperbolic."

"Hyperbolic? I don't think so."

"Neru, seriously. You don't need to worry about it."

"No, Tecchan, wait! ..You think I don't see it?"

"See.. what?"

"Your arm."

Hirate had been hiding her sleeve for some time, but she unconsciously let her guard down that day. She knew how disappointed people will be, and that they would ask her millions of questions if they ever saw her scars. Now that someone had seen them, Hirate felt scared.

"Neru..." She wanted to explain, but at the same time, she chose not to.

"You're harming yourself," Neru's eyes were getting wet. 

"Neru, just leave me alone, okay?!" Hirate begged, trembling.

Of course Neru would refuse, "No! I'm not gonna leave you. No matter how many times you push me away, no matter how many times you say you don't need me. You're NOT getting through this alone.."

Neru walked closer to Hirate slowly, and as their eyes met, she took her by surprise by giving her a gentle kiss, "You don't have to hide it. We know. We all know."

Neru looked down, to brush the scars on Hirate's wrists. It was the first time someone letting her know that they acknowledge her pain.

"I'm not gonna let you hurt yourself again," she said, "Promise me, you won't do this again."

The soft hands of Hirate's moved to cup Neru's wet cheeks, pulling some piece of hair on it behind her ear. She looked deeply to Neru's eyes.

"Okay.. I promise," she said with a sorrowful smile, which Neru would respond with a hug. So tightly, Neru could feel the muscles on her back, feeling her warmth. She closed her eyes, breathed her scent, never wanting to let her go. Neru didn't know at that time, that she lied.

~~~

The End
...of Part1 of Neru's POV.