A Second Chance?

Chapter 5

~Present Day~

  Ryan got home from the coffee shop around 9 pm. He genuinely enjoyed talking and catching up with Brendon. Maybe he can't have Brendon like he really wants him, but this is the next best thing. And taking a step back into the world of having friends is a step in the right direction.

  With the thought about friends rolling in his brain, he made a rather impromptu decision: he decided to call Spencer.

  Spencer was Ryan's best friend, starting in kindergarten, all the way through high school. He lost touch with Spencer about 3 ½ years ago, right as Spencer went on his internship before his final year of college. He heard through the grapevine that Spencer had gotten a job with a record label and moved to LA. Ryan had Sam, so he stayed in Las Vegas. Both men got busy with their own lives, and grew in separate directions.

  Ryan hoped the number he had for Spencer was still good. He pulled up the contact and hit the button to call. It rang about 5 times, and then it connected.

  "Hello? Ryan?" It was definitely Spencer.

  Ryan smiled at hearing the comforting, familiar voice. "Hi Spence - how are you?"

  "I'm fine, Ryan, how are you? I gotta say - this is a surprise. But I'm glad to hear from you!"

  "Really?" Ryan asked with surprise. "I'm not intruding or anything? Is this a good time?"

  "Not at all," Spencer assured. "We just finished cleaning up dinner and have nothing going on. Tell me, how are you? Are you still with Sam?"

  Ryan's heart clenched painfully, and he realized this is why he didn't make contact with his old friends sooner, because he was going to have to explain this to them. But he knew it was time, if he was actually going to heal and move on with his life. "Um, no, Spence. But we didn't break up. He...he died in a car accident about 16 months ago."

  "Oh my God, Ryan, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry I wasn't there for you," Spencer said sadly.

"Oh Spence, that is so you, but you have nothing to be sorry for. We had both just lost touch, and you couldn't have known. In fact, up until about 3 months ago, I just made a hermit of myself. I couldn't bear to talk to anyone about it. But I've recently realized if I don't change that, I'm going to be totally alone, and I needed to reach back out to my real friends. So you immediately came to mind," Ryan explained.

  "I'm so glad you thought of me, Ry, seriously. But what happened 3 months ago that changed things?"

  Ryan took a deep breath. "Well, I met this guy...Brendon. And he asked me out. And he is awesome, Spence, really. Fun, funny, gorgeous, sweet. We went on some dates. But I fucked it up. And then I realized I wanted him too late, so..."

  "What do you mean, you fucked It up, Ry?" Spencer sounded confused. "I know you wouldn't cheat."

  "No, nothing like that. I was just...I was totally standoffish with him the whole time we went out. I guess I never really treated it like us going out; more like two friends hanging out. I really kept him at arm's length. I was scared of getting involved again, and I felt guilty, like I was cheating on Sam. He wanted to know why I held things back from moving forward, and told me he was falling for me. So I decided it wasn't fair to him that I'd never be totally available to him, and I ended it. Only to realize after two months that I missed him so much, and I needed to move on with my life. But he met me for coffee, and he's been seeing someone new for 3 weeks." Ryan sighed hard.

  "Oh," Spencer said, "that sucks. So...where do you go from here?"

  "Well, we agreed to stay friends. I genuinely like him as a person, and he cares about me, I know that. And I need friends right now. I gotta at least reintegrate myself into living society again. And maybe in the process, I'll meet someone else. I just want him to be happy - he had no reason to wait on me. I didn't give him any hope when I ended it, and he didn't hear from me for 2 months. It's not his fault. He deserves to live his life."

  "That's all true, Ry," Spencer started, "but are you gonna be ok with this other guy in the picture? I mean...it sounds to me like you more than like him. Are you gonna be able to handle it?"

  Ryan sighed. "If I want him in my life, and I do, I have to, Spence. Maybe we were just meant to be friends. At least now I'm open to meeting someone, whereas when I met him, we hit it off despite me fighting it tooth and nail."

  "Ok, Ry. I just don't want you to be hurt. But here's what I really want to know: when can we have a visit?" Spencer's bright, happy question perked Ryan up immediately.

"Oh man, I'd love that. Um, maybe one of us can road trip to the other soon?" Ryan was so excited at the thought of meeting with Spencer again.

  "Well, how about this? I have a 3 day weekend coming up. I can take an extra couple of days off and come see you. Can you get a couple of vacation days off too?"

  Ryan grinned. "Yes I can! Oh God, I'm so excited. I've really missed you Spence!"

  "'Me too, Ry. I better get going. But I'll text you in the next couple of days and we'll make concrete plans, ok?"

  "Absolutely, Spence - can't wait to see you!"

——

  It was mid-morning Thursday and Ryan was running around cleaning his apartment in anticipation of Spencer's arrival. He'd already been to the grocery, and was putting on the finishing touches of his cleaning for his warmly welcomed guest, when his phone rang.

  Ryan walked to the kitchen table and picked it up. It was Brendon. Ryan was surprised to say the least. "Hello?"

  "Ryan! Hey! I just called to see how you're doing." That characteristic warmth was back in Brendon's voice, and it caused Ryan to relax.

  "Hey, Brendon. I'm actually doing great. My best friend is coming into town to visit. I haven't seen him in over 3 years so I'm really excited."

  "That's awesome," Brendon enthused. "Have you told me about him before?"

  "No I hadn't, since we'd lost touch a while back. But since I am reintegrating friends into my life and re-entering the world of the living, I gave him a call. His name is Spencer. He works for a record label out in LA."

  "That's really great, Ryan. I'm proud of you. I'd love to meet him, if you guys have time?"

  Ryan really liked the idea. He knew Brendon and Spencer would hit it off. "Of course. We don't have any hard plans in place. We could meet you somewhere in town, maybe on the Strip or at a movie? You can bring Dallon if you want." Ryan knew that meeting Dallon when Spencer was there as support would be the best way for him to handle it.

  "Well, if it won't be intruding...," Brendon hesitated.

  "Not at all. We're friends. You should meet my best friend, and I should meet your boyfriend, Brendon."

  But Brendon made a disagreeing noise. "Uh, not my boyfriend, Ry. Not official like that. We've just been on several dates."

Ryan was surprised, because he took Brendon as a lot more firm in their relationship at the cafe. "Oh, sorry Brendon. My mistake."

  "It's ok. And...you can call me Bren. I'm sorry about that on the phone the other day. I was tired and grumpy."

  Ryan smiled and said, "Ok, Bren. It's no problem."

  "Ok," Brendon said happily. "We're pretty open this weekend so just text me when you want to meet and where and we'll work something out."

  "Ok, Bren...looking forward to it." Ryan finished the call. He felt warm over things being natural with Brendon again. He'd hated when things were strained between them. But he knew he couldn't let that feeling of warmth get too out of hand though, since Brendon had Dallon now. He decided to go with it, however, since he'd spent so much of the past 16 months feeling so very cold and alone.