❀| Doki'ed Dump [Doki Doki Literature Club]

gogobebe

mamamoo - gogobebe

this was in my drafts for a while. i had first written this on a sudden burst of inspiration, but it died down in like, 2 days?

but i decided to finally finish it today. not my greatest work honestly, but i didn't want to abandon it for another century.

either way, i hope you can still enjoy it. also, be on the lookout for several anime/manga references you may or may not know because i've really been into that lately.

constructive criticism (especially on the texting parts) is mighty appreciated!!

warnings;

• swearing, but that's about it

...

Sayori doesn't particularly despise her life. She knows she has it easier than most; she lives in a fairly-priced apartment with just about everything she needs, she's got a respectable enough job as a teacher in some downtown high school, and she's not in any sort of desperate struggle for money. She keeps in contact with her old high school pals - Hibiki's (surprisingly) getting his master's degree in a college in Osaka, Yuri is a librarian at a library not far from where Sayori lives, Monika's a successful and rising assistant manager at a hotshot company, Natsuki works at the bakery nearby the college she graduated from - so she's not really lonely, either.

Her depression getting to her again would've been what she guessed if she was younger, but she's at the ripe age of twenty four and rainclouds haven't clouded her mind in a good six years. And besides, while she does feel something is missing from her life, it's not the same gaping hole that had hollowed out her insides for so long. It feels more like she's just barely scratching at the surface of something she isn't so sure is what.

But who is she to complain? Her life is all organized and neat and orderly, something eighteen year old her would've never imagined as her future. If anything, she's already extremely grateful for even living past that nightmarish age. So Sayori continues on, living her life the way her brightly colored planner tells her to.

One of them is to have an existential crisis while furiously brushing her teeth. Sayori curses when she's finished because she's only then realized how sore her hands are from gripping the toothbrush handle.

Look, she's not normally like this. During her seemingly weekly musings of life, she gets all sad and shit, repeatedly banging her head on the wall, or sit on the toilet for God knows how long while looking like someone just murdered her firstborn.

But right now, all she feels is frustrated. Her guts are churning and the bile is rising to her throat, as if throwing up her sad excuse of a Saturday lunch (read: a failed plate of omurice with a frowny chili sauce mouth to add insult to injury) would also mean throwing up the fury of bottled emotions raging throughout her body. She wants to scream, to rip all her hair out, to sucker punch someone in the stomach.

There are tax bills waiting for her on her study desk with their increased percentages practically looming over her stagnant salary. Her kitchen is a still a mess from her miserable cooking attempt. An annoying resident keeps blasting loud trap music every three in the morning of Sundays. There's been whisperings among her neighbours that the landlord is planning to raise rent fees soon. The school's cultural festival is coming up soon, shoving mountain loads of work onto her shoulders alongside being advisor of the literature club and the usual handling of tests and projects and classwork of moody teenagers. How can life be going pretty well at the same time it's racing downhill?

Sayori's head hurts, throbbing with too many thoughts running through her head. Fingers running through her tousled hair, Sayori sits down on the toilet lid. She just needs a breather, a single moment to let her mind rest. Maybe she'll think 'fuck it', go eat out at some actually decent restaurant and not do her usual drive thru visit to McDonald's or cook something else to add to her ever-growing list of food casualties, buy popcorn afterwards and stuff it into her face while binge watching anime until she dozes off. Her wallet would probably cry, but anything to cheer herself up, albeit for only those meagre hours, is what she really needs right now.