❀| Doki'ed Dump [Doki Doki Literature Club]

drabble dump

bts - jamais vu

hi high!! i actually wrote these snippets a long time ago and i'm pretty sure i had a super cool idea for it, but i've lost both inspiration and motivation to finish it. so just take these really vague drabbles, okay? okay.

...

There's a lot of photos in their living room. A few have been arranged into short stacks scattered about hardwood flooring, and others piled into cupboard drawers and whatever confined spaces they can find. One or two may or may not be randomly thrown about, but the majority of them are hanging from the ceiling, held in their mid-air positions by thin wires and clothing clips.

Presently, Yuri's standing among that cluster of images, violet eyes soaking in whatever was displayed in those bordered images. Some are already faded and gray, the images so blurred out that it was impossible to see what had actually been photographed in the first place. Others are ones of soft yet vibrant colors, of simple, pretty scenery. Yet, with all that captured grandeur surrounding her, the purple-haired beauty finds herself staring at one photo in particular.

It's the one with all the girls - herself, Monika, Natsuki and Sayori - with fingers intertwined with one another's and faces lit up with smiles. The sky behind is a large, bright expanse of blue, clouds dotting about like a ladybug's wings. Right at the bottom-left corner, in elegantly tailored writing, it read:

22.09.15 - the cause of my euphoria

Yuri's gaze only grows in fondness upon reading the caption. Sometimes, the woman needs to take a step back just to believe the fact that it's been three years, three staggering years since that very date, aka the day they all had 'the talk'. They all had confessed their budding feelings for one another, all of them lost, confused and scared at this revelation until Sayori piped up with the idea of all them being in one simultaneous relationship with each other. 'Polyamory,' Monika had called it. Perhaps their 'label' had mattered back then, but right now, Yuri wouldn't care if such a thing had never been heard of before. Yeah, she's in love with three other people, girls especially, but she's happy and that's all that really matters with her. Maybe it's not logical, maybe it didn't exactly fit with society's ideals, maybe it's not the most practical. But now, she's past all of that, previous worries and fears buried under her confidence that yes, indeed, whatever they had going on is okay and will forever remain that way. They are, well, perfectly alright.

...

Monika wonders if that sagged emptiness inside of her can be considered as pain. Perhaps it really shouldn't, since she's not technically feeling anything in theory, but she's so numb to everything that she can no longer shed anymore tears. An empty shell trudging through life is all that's left of the passionate brunette that had existed long before.

Everday, she gets up at 6. Everyday, she's out the door at exactly 7. Everyday, she goes to work for exactly 9 hours. Everday, she's back at her sad excuse of an apartment by 6. Every single last day, it's the same, boring routine she repeats over and over and over again, like a broken record player. And like a broken record player, with no one around to fix her, she's stuck. She doesn't know how to drag herself out of this mundane loop she'd made for herself, forever trapped in its blunt claws.

Then again, does she even want to stop merely existing? Does she want to gain back that vigor she had once lived life with? Sure, she's tired, but for what? For living? That sounds ridiculous, doesn't it?

Monika doesn't know anymore, in all truth. She only knows that yes, she's indeed tired, and that she has no idea how to stop being so.... lifeless. She just wants the numbness to stop. She needs to feel something, anything, some sort of emotion, a sign that she's not just, just falling victim to society's cruel game of endless rewinds. She's desperate, and though that may not be the best feeling one should harbor, it's something.