Til Death Do Us Part

Chapter 4

  I tell my family of my plans and I also spill the information that for the next passing weeks I will be moving into Cams. An argument is about to erupt before Louis sticks up for me.

  "If she wants to go, let her go. I know if it was the other way round I'd want to spend the time with someone who I loved."

  I just smile, it's the only thing I do now where words fail I just force a smile and hope that will answer the statement. I haven't faced the reality of this yet, I am still numb and wonder if that will ever change. Will I feel nothingness up until my departure? Will this great void of emotion just stay with me forever? I am begin I gotta to get sidetracked. Cam comes over less than 15 minutes later starting to pack up my things with Louis, I am not allowed to do anything. Rest is needs they all say.

  "I'm going to see Caitlin." I say as I'm already through the door. Out of all the girls, I believe that I am closest to Caitlin, there is no reason for this, I just have more of a connection towards her and I honestly believe that she feels that too. Caitlin already knows everything, she'd been told with the rest of the girls the night I myself found out so when I arrive on her door unannounced she begins to worry quickly.

  "Can I come in?" We walk up to her room and sit on the bed. The room itself stings me, every memory we have had in this room rushes to my mind and it feels like a bullet to the head.

  "Alayna?" I lose it. For the first time. In some sense that is why I came here, I've bottled it up and I needed someone to let it out to. I didn't want that person to be Cam, for as long as possible I wanted him to see me strong before that's all taken away. Caitlin holds me in her arms and I don't have to say anything, the tears speak for themselves and even if I wanted to try to express myself, how I was feeling right now I wouldn't be able to. In any other sense, this would be embarrassing but I am so detached from how I show myself now. I do not care what people think as they won't have to think of me for much longer.

  "I don't want to go through this Caitlin." I just about get out, through sobs. "I need those pills, you need to get them for me."

  Caitlin says nothing and it makes me feel a little wary but soon enough she nods and an overwhelming sea of relief fills me.

  "We need go sort you out before you go back, Cam can spit when you've been crying from a mile off."

  I nod and just as she goes to move I pull her into a hug and I'm scared it is my last.

  "I love you Caitlin."

  "I love you too Alayna."