Eviternal [manxman]

Mateo x Nolan - I

Mateo x Nolan - I

I watched my husband set the table while I was holding our babies, trying to get them to fall asleep but it wasn't working out. Emery had been running a fever for the past two days due to an ear infection and kept wailing at the top of his lungs to share his pain with all of us, keeping us all awake and his baby brother Oliver didn't get to sleep either which made him extra grumpy. 

A tiny hand tugged at my shirt and I looked down to find Oliver look up at me with squinted eyes before he yawned and snuggled closer into his blanket. His brother sniveled and moved his legs before he started whimpering again. We kept taking him to the doctor but they couldn't do much except for telling us to give him the medicine they prescribed. I wished I could do something to ease his pain. 

"He finally stopped crying." Nolan sighed, laying out the cutlery. "I have no idea how much longer I could have tolerated that."

Ever since he had yelled at Iolas he hadn't been the same. Losing him all those years ago had thrown him off balance but he managed to hold it together but now he was starting to fall apart. I couldn't blame him but I wished he was talking to me about it and not shutting me out in fear of me judging him. 

"Why don't you take them upstairs and lay down for a bit?" I offered. "I can finish cooking and preparing everything."

He frowned at me and I expected him to snap at me but he just sighed again, brushing over his face. If he kept worrying and being under so much stress, I was afraid it was going to take a toll on his health. Not just his physical but also his mental health and it was bound to happen soon.

"No, it's alright." He shrugged, straightening a knife. 

"It's okay if you need time for yourself." I tried to gently remind him and I could see him glare at me in reponse.

"I don't need time and I don't need you to mother me." He yelled, stomping back to the kitchen. "I can do this."

Emery started whining and I sighed heavily. I walked up the stairs in order to get away from Nolan because I didn't want him to be directly exposed to the crying baby if he couldn't handle it right now. 

Just as I was passing by Fenian's room he opened the door and stuck his head out, looking at me. I tried to smile at him but I could see he wasn't buying it and it made my heart sink. I didn't want him to know we were having a rough time currently and most importantly I didn't want him to have to worry about us. We were the adults, we were supposed to worry about him not the other way round.

"You and Dad are fighting again." He stated, raising an eyebrow. "You have been doing that a lot lately."

He was right and the saddest part was us fighting even more when he wasn't home because we didn't want him to witness that. We wanted him to be able to be happy and focus on his school work, his boyfriend and on his friends and not his parents but we had failed at that. No wonder he was always staying at his boyfriends house, we were suffocating him with our problems.

"I'm sorry." I apologized to him. "I didn't mean for you to hear that."

"I don't care if I hear it but I don't want you to keep fighting until you get a divorce." He scoffed and it broke me.

Never in my life would I consider leaving my husband and abandoning my children. When we got married I vowed to stay by his side and I was taking that very serious. I had known the butterflies weren't going to last forever, the initial excitement was going to dull down over the years and I had been prepared. I had comitted myself to making this work and I didn't want an easy out, I wanted my husband and I to be happy with each other.