forever // m.c (book 3)

01 - can't erase this

This is the third (and final) book for new beginnings. If you haven't read new beginnings and promises, you should read those first. enjoy xx zoe

i'm going to start putting songs with the chapter as well.

song of the chapter: unkiss me by maroon 5

Summer's POV

"Michael, you shouldn't be here," I snapped. "Hope is going to be out any minute and I don't want to confuse her."

"But Summer, did you hear what I said? I want you back," he told me desperately. He even looked desperate, dressed in his usual skinny jeans and a ratty muscle tank. I could even smell alcohol on his breath.

"Look, call me later ok? The kids are being released and you can't be here."

Michael squeezed his eyes shut and nodded slowly. "Ok, I'll call you tonight." He walked away from me slowly and down the sidewalk. If I didn't know better, I'd say he looks like a homeless person.

I sighed, pressing my head against my seat. I didn't need this right now, not when I was finally getting over him. It seemed as though this always happened. He would show up right when I'm moving on and tell me he wants me back. I always gave in. I had to stay strong this time. I couldn't let him work his way back into my heart.

The backseat door opened a few minutes later causing me to jump. Hope climbed up into her seat as I tried to calm myself down. "Hey, sweetie, how was your first day?"

"I hate school," she huffed, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Baby, don't say that. It's only the first day. What happened that was so horrible?"

"Well, Carter stole my snack and Kevin pushed me down at recess. I wanted to punch him but I didn't want to get in trouble."

"Well it's good you didn't punch him. Why did he push you down?" I pulled out of the parking lot, hoping to beat the rush.

"He told me that daddy didn't love me and then pushed me."

"Oh, Hope. Daddy loves you so much. Don't believe him, ok?"

This was too much for kindergarten. I didn't understand how kids that young could be so cruel.

"Do you like your teacher though? She seemed nice when I met her the other day."

"Yeah," she shrugged. "Hey, isn't that daddy?" She pointed out the window, and sure enough there was Michael, standing at the bus stop.

"Uh, no. I don't think so. He must just look like daddy," I told her and sped off.

I saw Hope slouch down in her car seat, clearly upset. I wanted to give her a happy childhood. One where her parents were together and happy.

***

That night, after giving hope a bath and tucking her into bed, I dialed Michael's number since he hadn't called me yet.

"Summer? I can't believe you actually called me."

"Hey, so what did you want? Why did you come all the way to New York?"

"To tell you I want you back. I realize how much of a jerk I was being before. You should be able to do things on your own, I know you're capable of it. I want to show you again how much I love you. I can't spend another moment without you, Winter. You're my everything."

"Michael, I think we've gone through enough, don't you? We both deserve happiness."

"But I'm only happy when I'm with you," he whined.

I felt tears pricking my eyes, but I didn't let them fall down my cheeks. I had promised myself I wasn't going to cry over him again.

"I just can't do it," I sighed. "I need to focus on Hope and the orchestra. I finally got first chair and I need to work hard to keep it.

"Please, Summer? Just give me one more chance?" he begged. It seemed as though it was what he did best, beg for me to take him back.

"No," I said, firmly and hung up.

Michael's POV

I messed everything up, again. Of course she didn't want me back. I made her feel as though she was suffocating and then I show up, half drunk at our daughter's school. I couldn't live without her any longer though. I was going crazy in my apartment with Calum while he was at classes all day. I found myself in bars more nights than not, arriving home drunk off my ass. I missed my family. I finally got them back and then I lost them again.

I was optimistic when she called me first, but she only made me feel lower. I was happy for her, that she was succeeding in the orchestra but it made me miss the band even more. It made me wonder if we made a mistake, breaking it up.

After the call with Summer, I pulled my guitar out of its case. I hadn't played in a long time, the strings completely out of tune. I wasn't even sure why I packed it along, maybe out of habit. After tuning it, I absentmindedly began playing. After a few moments, I realized I was playing Close As Strangers, the song I'd written for Summer so long ago. I started to sing along, the words pouring out my mouth with passion and longing.

I played for another two hours, my fingers becoming sore from my long break of not playing. I put my guitar away and stripped down to my boxers, climbing under the sheets of my hotel bed. I layed awake, staring at the ceiling. I couldn't get Summer out of my mind. I could only see her snapping at me when I showed up at the school and then hear her voice telling me that she couldn't be with me.

After an hour of just lying there, I picked up the phone next to my bed and dialed room service. I ordered vodka and coke. It arrived fifteen minutes later and I mixed up my drink. The familiar burn down my throat calmed me down and I started to forget the reason I came to New York in the first place.