Tell Me Who?

Chapter 11

Days later...

The days have been going on by fast and I have lost count. I think it's a week or two already, since the last time I saw Tyler. Zack told him that he was already starting to walk again. I'm so happy for him.

I hate myself for asking if Julie was taking care of him. Zack looked kind of bothered by that question. And I totally understand him. How would I feel if I was in his place?

Today, he is coming over to go to do something fun. When he says something "fun," it will for sure be fun. We have been having so much sex these past few days. I want to feel guilty but he makes me forget everything.

Tyler and I had sex and I didn't tell him. I'm a cheater, a liar, and a coward now. Well, they kept things from me once and this is a first for me. This is so wrong but I don't want to lose him. Zack is so amazing to me.

He's here. I love the perfume he has on it's become my favorite smell. When I asked him which one was it, he said, "it's a secret." A hug can really make you lose concentration and can make you feel so good.

"We are going for a little trip," he says running towards the driver seat. A little trip?

"Is it here or where?," I ask because, with him, you never know. He is not answering me, but that smile he has is enough for me. The way he smiles is my weakness, I would be mortified to see that beautiful smile disappear.

"Just you and me in the middle of nowhere," he says so happily. I've never seen him like this he is acting like a little boy. I can't stop laughing at him.

We have been driving towards a familiar place. The same place, I was brought by Tyler on my birthday. This place, of course, is in the middle of nowhere. This is my second time here and now it's with Zack.

He came prepared just like Tyler did. The back of his car is packed with beers, chips and two flashlights. I think he forgot about the mosquitos here.

"Um...Zack, you forgot something," I tell him and he turns to look at me confused. I make the "buzz" sound and his hand goes through his hair.

"I'm such an idiot...sorry." He closes the trunk and stays put holding it down. This is my cue to do something, I pull him from it and kiss him by surprise. Zack's eyes go wide but I'm answered by a smile.

He pushes me over to the truck and kiss me on top of it. I pull his shirt off and he pulls mine off. He laughs when I try to push his pants down but fail. I jump down from the truck and trade him places. He unzips his pants and I go down to blow him. I watch as he moans in pleasure, by every inch my mouth touches. When he pulls me up and takes my pants off, and turns me over. We have never done it this way, but I love the way he's kissing me. He moves it in slowly and sucks on my ear while doing it. I moan and suddenly I'm out of breath.

"La noche esta buena," he whispers in my ear. And Spanish suddenly turns hundred times sexier. I turn around and kiss him one more time, "Well, the mosquitos had a meal tonight," I tell him. He laughs and pulls me towards him to put my shirt on me. I adore him and he makes me so happy, that I find it hard to believe.

"Did my cousin and you...ever you know...do this," He asks putting on his shirt. What is he asking exactly?, Sex? or come to this place?.

"What do you mean?, Sex?." He bows his head down and laughs. " I meant go somewhere like this," he says and with a nod, I answer him.

"Cool...sorry, I was just curious." He pulls down his seat and so do I. We lay quietly and tears begin to roll from my eyes. When he sits up and asks why.

"Hey, why are you crying?," He asks turning on the light. I cover my face from not even knowing why. I'm so stupid for crying out of nowhere. This is so bipolar or just weird for me to do this.

"Just ignore me." With a kiss from him, I'm relaxed again. He makes the pain feel so lovely. He's the one but I can't be with him like this. He has to know the truth before it's too late.

This is not just the place to do it. The moment we get to my house I'm going to tell him. We are already driving back and my heart is almost out of my chest. For some reason, the drive back seems shorter and faster.

I love him.....and this is going to break him.

We are here and is now or never. "Zack, there is something I need to tell you. Tyler and I, we had sex...and I'm so sorry. But, I want you to know I'm over him. This time is the truth and you have to believe me." He is not moving or showing any emotion. If he doesn't say anything, I'm going to scream. "Please Zack, say something." He raises his fist and I shut my eyes. When I open them again, he has punched his car.

"I'm a fucking idiot," he says before getting in his car. I watch as my only happiness drives away. My mother suddenly opens the door and I run to her. She hugs me while I cry the whole night. I know she wants to know everything but I can't tell her.

Love is so complicated and it's so hard to not to be bad at it. I always end up hurting everyone who really cares about me. This is all on me for being so stupid.