"You did this! You're the reason she's in this fucking coma, you're the god damn parasite that keeps coming up to mess everything up!" I shout at Clay, my heart racing in my chest as I stand a mere foot away from the man I used to call step-dad.
"Jax, I did it for you, for the club. It was for Tara, Kacey wasn't ever supposed to be involved, you've got to believe me." He argues, doing his best to defend himself. "Please, Jax."
I shake my head angrily, "For me? You put my fucking fiancé in a coma, Clay. Don't give me this 'did it for you son' bullshit because it won't work anymore." I tell him, not wanting to hear his excuses. "You killed Donna, you killed Piney, you killed Roosevelt's wife, you almost killed Kacey." I look up to the man, glaring into his cold eyes as my teeth grit together, "And you killed my father."
Clay's eyes widen as I reveal his darkest secret. He begins to shake his head as he steps closer to me, "Jax, kid, I didn't do any of that, you've gotta' believe me." He almost begs for mercy and I pull my gun, pressing it against his chest.
"Take one more step and I'll blow your fucking heart out." I hiss at the man as he continues to defend himself.
"You know, your mom isn't as innocent as she makes herself seem. She's the fucking mastermind behind all of this shit." Clay shouts at me, not wanting to go down for the blame alone. I shake my head, not wanting to believe him, but my heart and gut tell me otherwise.
"Must've been why you kicked the shit out of her every time she went against what you wanted, eh? The mastermind." I laugh in his face as I keep my gun raised. Clay goes to grab me, and I fire my gun off, shooting him in the throat, watching the blood pour down his black shirt. I watch as he falls to the ground on his stomach, groaning as he tries to move away from me. I take my foot and kick him over so he's on his back. "You don't gotta' worry about it anymore, Clay. You won't be killing anymore innocents." I tell him before unloading my gun into his chest, watching as the life leaves him with every shot.
Tears fill my eyes as I look down at the bloodied and dead man at my feet. My heart is still cold, it still aches for Kacey, and it doesn't matter how many men I kill; she's still gone.
I snap out of bed, my chest heaving from my flashback as I go to run a hand through my hair and rub my eyes. I shake my head, and try to take a deep breath as I remember the day I killed Clay, the day I told him he's been caught in his web of lies. I remember not even feeling better after killing him. I knew that killing him wouldn't bring my dad back, and it definitely wasn't going to bring Kacey back. I pull the blanket from my body and get out of bed, walking to the closet and pulling out some clothes for the day.
I quickly get dressed and go to the kitchen to make some coffee for myself. The house is eerily quiet without the kids being here. My mom took them yesterday when I told her the news about Kacey. I have to go and talk to them today about the situation as Kacey is coming home this week at some point. They kept her last night for tests and it broke my heart looking at her with wires and IVs attached to her frail body.
I don't know what's worse, losing someone forever or having someone come back and not remember a single thing. You can at least grieve when you lose someone permanently, but how do you deal with the person you love coming back and not remembering a single thing, including the life you two built together. I let out a sigh as I reach for my full coffee mug, bringing it up for a drink.
I feel my phone buzz in my pocket, and I take it out to see a text from Noah. My eyebrows knit together, surprised that he'd even consider reaching out.
Seeing Kacey in a few... I know this is hard for u, for everyone... Here for you, ur still family and I'm sorry for being such an asshole and blaming you.
I re-read the text in my head and shake my head, not knowing how to respond to his message. I finish up my coffee and shove my phone in my back pocket before grabbing my wallet, cut and keys, and heading out to the clubhouse. I lock up the house and walk over to my bike, starting it and backing out of the driveway as I begin to head to my home away from home.
When I pull into the lot, I can see Sadie and Abel playing at the little playground my mom had installed for them. Unser is watching over them as they run around and go down the slide together, shouting at one another as they play a game. I park my bike and get off it, pulling a smoke from my pocket and lighting it as I continue my walk towards my kids. Unser looks over to me and gives me a sad look before nodding. He walks over to the fence as I stand on the other side of it having my cigarette. "Do you want a sorry or a congratulations?" he asks me softly, leaning on the fence as he looks out to the two kids running around.
I chuckle, not even knowing what fits best in this situation. "Either or works, I guess." I tell the man as I watch the kids. I take a drag of my cigarette and sigh, "Not really sure how to explain it to them though." I admit, my mind racing with possible reactions and outcomes.
Unser shrugs, "You just have to be honest with them, Jax. They deserve the truth, especially Abel." He tells me, "That kid has been through a lot for someone his age, and if anyone can handle the truth, it's him."
I sigh, knowing he's right. I finish my cigarette and stomp it out before opening the gate and walking into the park. Abel looks over to me and smiles as he runs to me, wrapping his arms around my neck. Sadie rushes over after, crashing into her brother before hugging me. "I have to talk to you guys about something." I tell them as I remain crouched down at their level. Abel looks over to me and nods, signalling for me to go ahead. Sadie looks between me and her brother, her eyebrows knitted together in confusion. I take a deep breath and I look into their eyes, feeling my heart breaking. "Mommy is awake." I tell them, "She's awake, and she's going to be okay, but she doesn't remember a lot. Her brain got hurt when she was sleeping."
Sadie nods, not really understanding the severity of it all. "She okay?"
I nod, "Yes, baby. Mommy is okay, she's going to be alright and so are we." I tell her, kissing the side of her head as I pull her into my side. "She's coming home this week, and we need to make sure we're good, and that we help her remember things. We need to be nice to her because it's hard for her too."
Sadie nods before leaving Abel and I behind as she runs back to the park. I sigh, knowing the situation is a little too complex for either of them to understand. Abel looks at me and frowns, "I miss Mommy. I'm happy she's okay even if she doesn't remember me." He tells me and I feel my heart shatter in my chest.
"She'll remember you, buddy. I promise, she just really hurt her head and it's going to take some time."
Abel nods, believing me. He walks over to me, wrapping his arms around my neck, hugging me tightly. "I love you, Daddy, and so does Mommy and Sadie. She'll remember you." and with that, he breaks away, leaving me at the edge of the park, feeling somewhat alright about the whole situation.
