rise up.

chapter 1

*flashback*

"Why are you doing this?!" Im not usually the screaming type, but i am as pissed off as my 9year old body can be.

"Why am i doing what?! I dont love you anymore, i cant even look at you without seeing your stupid mother's eyes and she deserved to die!" and with that my dad drove off. leaving me, at the front porch of an orphanage, all alone again.

i just dropped my backpack on the ground, leaned against it and fell asleep.

**

"sweety? come on luv, you arent dead are you?" i opened my eyes to see a woman looking at me with her hand on my shoulder.

"um i dont think so..." that was when last night came back. "he left me here. all alone. hes gone."

"who's gone luv?"

"my...my...my father..."

*flashback over*

Yeah i guess i zoned out again. i look across my room in the orphanage and see blake start to sit up.

"how the hell do you wake up this early..." he hesitated, "OMG HAPPY BIRTHDAY ROBIN!!!"

i havent smiled this big since, well i dont know. but today was gonna be different. good. "why thank you my dear, now get your lazy ass out of bed! molly promised me waffles!" molly was the woman who found me about 8 years ago, she still runs it.

blake jumped up when i mentioned waffles. we both got dressed in our favorite outfits that happen to match; grey and red blessthefall muscle tanks, black vans, and red skinny jeans we had decorated with "&" on the back pockets. we both have a slight heavy metal addiction.

then he helped me with my hair because my black hair with red tips was very complicated. and i did my makeup while he brushed his long mop of black hair with a few red highlights because he cannot resist my puppy eyes.

"hey blake, race you." yeah molly yells when we race, because the other 15 kids in the house are usually asleep, but you only live once so just go fucking nuts, right?

i began running down the stairs and i hear blake yell, "hey thats no fair!" and then his footsteps thundering down the stairs.

"MOLLY CAN I HAVE WAFFLES YET?!" and then i slam into a guy a bit taller than me and freeze up. no. no. it cant be. this is not happening.

blake slams into me snapping me out of my daze and putting him into one. he just sat on the floor crisscross and began breathing really slowly.

knowing the routine i sit down facing him and make eye contact. we both calm our breathing and he says, "btf."

the guy that i slammed into was still behind me, "yeah we are... are you okay?"

i stand up, "yeah he will be fine. he gets a bit hyper and forgets to breathe." that got a laugh from the rest of the guys. "so why are you here?" okay that sounded nicer in my head.

"we want to adopt a kid. tour is weird but its kind of lonely to be the same everyday." beau said.

"oh cool." i got nervous and started to scratch my wrists, beau gasped a bit, and that was when i realized my mistake. bracelets. i turned to blake, my voice shook, "bracelets. i forgot my bracelets."

his eyes got wide and we started to run. up the stairs, into the room, he shut the door, i ran to the closet.

"blake! please open the door! what happened!"

*blakes pov*

i slammed the door shut and leaned against it. i saw robin run to the closet and get the box. the box. her box. the stupid box i thought she couldnt find. her box of razors.

she pulled one out and i knew i had to do something. i cant let them in but if i dont then she will do it again.

she ran to the bathroom. it had a lock. she beat me there and locked it. she was alone with her safety net. and i was alone with the guys who had broken the door.

i heard her sobs through the door and knew i was to late.

eric spoke up, " beau what do we do.."

beau spoke softly, "okay blake, i need you to stand up because we are going to break the door."

"i know what is happening and she wont stop.."

"i know. you go get a firstaid kit and bring it in here."

i nodded and ran down the hall when i went to go back all the kids were in the hall. great. "move out of my fucking way!" i felt like moses to be honest.

*robins pov*

i fell to the floor of the bathroom and took a deep breath, then whispered "im so sorry." i dragged the cold metal across my old scars and across new skin.

i heard blake talking to beau then someone kicked the door. after two kicks i heard blake yelling in the hall. but nothing stopped me. i made another totaling to 6.

i finally was breathing and the door flew open as i made another. blood was everywhere. matt came over and said, "please give me the razor luv"

i curled up and held the blade close to me, the tears slowly came faster.

matt pulled me to him, "please, can you take a deep breath and hand it to me as you breathe out?" i shook my head like a three year old not wanting to share a toy.

beau came over with a firstaid kit and asked to see my arm. i showed him my right arm. forgetting that i only had 3 over there. he shook his head, "the other one too, please robin?"

i stretched my other arm out and winced as the blood started to flow more, i dropped the razor.

eric started running and i heard the front door open. he was probably sick, "jared go check on eric"

beau wrapped my arms in gauze and helped me stand up. blake walked in with black skinnys and a omam sweatshirt. the band left the bathroom and blake helped me change, he had helped me to many times and knew what to do.

**

we walked down stairs about thirty minutes later. i had fresh makeup and wasnt crying anymore.

"thats it, and you said your friends should be here in about 10?"

"yes ms.molly, we will help them get ready. do you want help with the bathroom?"

"i will take care of it. i though she was better." i let out a small emotionless laugh. better? really?

the guys turned around. eric smiled, looking better than when he ran out, "lets go pack!"

beau smiled and said, "blake, austin should be here in a bit. but you might as well start packing!"

"we are getting adopted?" me and blake said at the same time.

"yep! we are adopting robin," blakes face fell. "AND. you are getting adopted by of mice!"

blake started to stutter and i turned to him, "we wont be alone anymore blake, we can be real people. we can survive." his dark grey eyes looked into my dark blue ones. i could swear his eyes got three shades lighter. he whispered, "we're gonna make it."

i hugged him really tight and the band came, making the worlds best group hug.

"awhh! group hug!" i would know that voice anywhere. the hug spreads out a bit, making me think how we were all about the same age except me and blake were 17 and the band only early twenties, "aaron...?"

"uh hi?"

oh my god. it was aaron. "you dont remember me do you..."

"im sorry should i?"

"im bell's sister." when i said that his eyes looked so sad and he said, "im so sorry, i shouldve realized she was gonna do it... i shouldve known."

i ran to him and hugged him. at first he just stood there then his arms wrapped around me. and he whispered, "i shouldve known."

"no. its not your fault. she knew how to fake it... and i learned from the best..."