rise up.

chapter 2

*robin's pov*

i pulled back from the hug, "maybe things will get better for both of us, it seems you now have a brother and i have a family."

aaron smiled at me and said, "the band world is your family and you are never alone. just trust someone, give yourself the chance bell never got."

austin piped up after talking with alan for a moment, "bell. you are really her sister? why are you here?"

"no one wants a freak for a kid, and she ran away. but i knew my chances were far worse. i saw her photo on the news and i realized how bad it would be for yall. i decided to hide it."

"luv, there is nothing anyone is hiding from anyone in this family."

i leaned over to aaron and whispered, "i will be right back." i ran up the stairs and grabbed a hidden pack of cigarettes with my lucky custom lighter. smiling at the sight of my shiny black acoustic guitar in the corner, i slipped down the stairs and out the back door.

i slid down the wall and lit the cigarette. i took a deep breath and all the emotions i attached to bell, became clouded and stomach-able. i was feeling better and realized that someone was opening the backdoor.

when i saw tino i smiled a bit. he saw me sittting and said, "mind if i join you?"

i patted the ground next to me. "did they send you?"

"nah, i saw you so i waited a few minutes and then told them i wanted a smoke. no one knows where you are as of now."

"thanks, i needed a little space and less staring."

"so you take your problems like i do huh?"

i turn to him kinda confused, "what do you mean?"

"well when im reminded of something painful i put the emotions into something, like a song or a cigarette, and then those feelings become comfort when im numb." i just nodded. i never had thought through why i did it but it made sense.

"yeah i guess i do. but for me its the cigarettes or another scar. its like a huge storm. it takes a while to build up, but when it becomes to much every bit of anger and pain and fear comes out like a hurricane. and then it fades. just to begin building again."

he smiled a bit looking at the wooden fence. "i had a friend a long time ago, his name was jo, and he had some issues. when things at home would get bad he would come to my house, he would lock himself in our spare bedroom and play his acoustic for hours. when he finally broke he told me what it really felt like to be him. his analogy was that life was a sidewalk. he said he used to run along and one day he tripped. i pulled him back up but we realized it was more like a cliff. we finally got up and jogged along out of breath, and the next time he tripped he just layed there broken. he never learned to run again. stumbling along the shitty broken side walk of life."

"i know how he feels. but i try to get up over and over again. and i just cant. when my dad left me here i was lost i never thought i would break like that. i never found myself until i found music and cigarettes..." i took a long drag from the cigarette, "we should probably go back in. blake will be worried."

"yeah. youre right." i buried the cigarette in the moist earth so that molly wouldnt worry.

we walked in and everyone stopped and turned. austin speaking first, "where were you! tino was out for a smoke and you just disappeared!"

blake walked forward a bit, "you havent stopped then..." the disappointment in his eyes was enough to make a grown man cry.

"im sorry blake. i really tried but it helps..." he justcame and hugged me really tight and mumbled, "im sorry. i know it does i just dont wanna loose you."

and then i heard a voice i never wanted to hear again from behind me, "robin? god youve grown... before you say anything, ive changed rehab and everything!"