tomtord oneshots

Suicide Imagination

Tom pov:

  I had a loving boyfriend and loving friends. But I was a fool I believed they pretended to love me and care for me. Because who would like me? Who would like my voice , my personality and me. I'm  such an clueless worthless alcoholic who is cold hearted to the ones that love him.
    I was in bed staring at the ceiling . It was dark , the lights were off and it was 4am in the morning . Tord was sleeping next to me ,very quiet. I kept on staring at the ceiling . What else was there to do? Sleep? Sleeping wasn't in my schedule , I didn't have time for that or anything in that matter. I had to think of something , I had to....and there came the thoughts  flooding in , it came in strong and powerful and it would feel impossible to escape without the one exit that was there. The exit to death. No one I was hear to help me , let's see how far this would be took. My thoughts rushed in.
you
Worthless
Ugly
Fat
useless
Skinny
Dumb
Unloved
Extra
cold hearted person
Face it your a creep , a weirdo and no one will care for you.
  Your skin is paper so cut it
   Your face is a mask , don't show it
   Your size is a book, judge it
   YOUR LIFE IS A FILM , JUST END IT
No one cares just give up already.

  That poem was what I told myself everyday but today was different . There was a new passion of hate in this and I didn't want to cut myself..I wanted to end myself. No one needs me . No one cares. We all fight but some are left for spare.
  and My fight is over.
  I love tord as a lover
  I love edd as best friend
   I love Matt as a brother

I got up from bed and took out a paper and pencil and started to write .

   Dear tord,

   I'm gone but I don't want you to cry. You don't need me. I'm worthless , you have done so much good for me , you were there when I hit you and ignored you and I don't know how to repay you . Other than taking the biggest struggle from your life. Me. I love you so much and I hope you find someone bette-

  I couldn't finish writing  because of the sudden touch on my shoulder. I quickly turned around hiding the paper and as tord. He looked at me tiredly but still smiled.
   "Hey babe, what are you doing up so early?" He asked his voice was raspy and adorable...to bad I will miss it .
    " I uh.. I just ....you...we...u-" I started to panic and his eyes wondered off to the paper peeking out from behind me. He quickly grabbed it without a word and read it. I couldn't breathe. What will he do? What will he say!? This was all my fault I should of just died without a note! Look what you did. It's all your fault , you mess up.
    Tord looked up at me with his face red and his eyes sparkling.
    "T-tom were y-you going to k-kill yourself? " his tears ran down his face and he kept on staring at me. all I did was nod . I could feel myself fall into a dark pit. A pit where I couldn't get out until a hand pulled me out and it was tord.

  Tord pov

    I quickly pulled Tom into a hug and kept on ranting.
   " Tom you are not worthless , I was always by your side because I loved you so much. And I knew I can help.  You always made my heart melt . Thomas listen to me when I say this you are worth everything in the world to me and many others"
  I didn't let go. We were balling our eyes out and Tom kept repeating 'sorry ' . But now I knew everything was going to be okay . Everything was fine.

Thunder, crash ,

   It was raining. Toms suicide was still in my hand and I was still crying. I looked down to see something I never imagined of seeing. Something that I could have stopped...if only I woke up early enough.

          Thomas Rocko
                 R.I.P

   " I hope you find someone
             better tord"

Toms last words was the last words on his suicide note. Sometimes I imagine another way his suicide could have ended. maybe more happier

Au: hope you liked this horrible piece of carp of a chapter!! Byeeeee