Life as a Skeleton Sitter

chappy 3

Back to the now you tell sans to expect you by Friday and leave to pack your bag full of clothes and things you'll need to live there. You would never take everything as it would be difficult and you never know if sansll get a stick up his ass and just fire you regardless of what anyone else says. Once done you clean up and help rebuild what you broke until the place looks good as new just in time for the bar shift. Time to earn yourself some tips. "How did you know you got hired? I never told you yet." Your fiery friend asks behind you. "Predictive thinking. Papyrus would never say no to hiring me. It means we can hangout more often and talk about books. That and he knows my reputation is solid. So he knows his kid is in good hands." Grilby nods knowing her predictive abilities are based on fact. It's part of the reason she doesn't get shot when she and sans get into a fight. His shooting is very predictable to her. Seems to defy logic to others but it's just the opposite. She uses nothing but math and logic to predict anything. Including sanses shooting patterns. Of course it took a few tries to get it completely figured out. Almost got killed a few times. As for fist fighting while you are a tiny motherfucker you've gotten him in many a glorious leg lock where he passed out. You just don't get along it seems. Even if you want to be friends with him. You think he's cute actually. Dangerous to think of course and kinda weird but what do you care? It's not like it'll ever happen. You two clash to much to be healthy and he hates all humans. Especially you for some reason. Probably because you don't cower in fear like other female humans do. Sexist asshole. It's Wednesday now but you like to be prepared. A beep comes from your pager. Shit that's right. You have to interrogate a guy as a favor to a robot named mettaton. He helped you out a month or so ago with some debt at grilbys you couldn't pay. This is what he wanted in return. He would gladly do it himself but a woman named alphis said they needed to keep this guy alive. Oh yeah. You completely forgot to explain how you know interrogation. Well papyrus had asked once for a book on psychology and one on interrogation through the ages. It peaked your interest and you did a study on it. Grilby let you practice on some trouble makers who were starting shit in the bar and other monster run stores. Needless to say your cold calculation abilitys came in handy and you have quite the knack for it. Kinda scares you how much you enjoy it. Course your not good at everything. You suck at sports and normal things normal people do like you don't know use normal people slang or use a smart phone. You have no idea what a damn selfie is. You can't drive for shit either. You can dance ok and your singing while nice is far from modern. Probably better for a classic jazz and swing from the golden oldies age. Regardless of all that you need to head outside so you can get picked up and taken to the bosses mansion in the woods. It's closer to the mountain for safety reasons. No one dares go near it. You are actually greeted by the flamboyant boss himself the don however is a man you've only met once. Er monster. It was at the grand reopening of grilbys after a fire destroyed the first location. Not his fire of course it was a Molotov bomb some asshole threw in the building. It had been standing ten years before that and you had only recently moved back to your hometown after you turned eighteen when the accident happened. He's a large monster but not fat. He was sharply dressed in a light tan suit and his golden hair was slicked back like a proper business man. His horns curved back magnificently and his fur was as white as freshly fallen snow. Multiple rings of gold adorn his fingers. He seems sad to you at this point in time even though it's a happy occasion. Guess maybe the weight of the tension between humans and monsters weigh him down. He had suddenly looked at you making you flinch a little bit but when you smile at him he seemed surprised. Didn't stop him from giving a smile back before watching Grilby cut the ribbon in front of his bar. That was the only time you saw him. As for the flamboyant murderous robot you are currently giving and receiving cheek kisses? He tried to kill you on multiple occasions. Still does when he's bored and you happen to be there. He can't help it tho it's in his programming. He helped you with a few payments on Grilbys bar the two of you couldn't pay. Occasionally he calls on you for favors. A few times as his escort for a business deal. This is where your flirtatious nature and predictive calculations come in handy. You have on many occasions drawn a gun on a man before they could draw their weapons because you could tell they had no intentions on making a fare deal and you knew they were about to try and just shoot the two of you. Needless to say you got the deal on your terms. You are now currently in the back of the limo watching the trees go by as he gives you the details on the latest interrogation victim. It gives you an idea. This guy is expecting torture beyond all recognition so he's ready for it and won't say a word. What if you pull at the guys heart strings? He has a pregnant wife and two kids. "Any ideas darling?" You look over at him and smirk. "I've got one. Time to put your special effects skills to good use." When you walk inside you are greeted by the usual pat down and BP is now your bodyguard. "How ya been man? Your lady still putting you through the ringer?" He groans and lights a cigarette. "Always little snake. She just doesn't let up! She wants me to do something safer like a bouncer. she's crazy." You nod. "She should know by now once your in the only way your coming out is if your dead." You are then led to a room where mettaton dresses you up to look like a young pregnant woman. He adds special effects makeup to make you look beaten and ill. See the mob has some strict rules and one of them is that women aren't to be involved in the men's affairs for their own safety. The mob is a mans world. So your plan is to make it look like your a woman being held here because they think you have information they want. Interrogation for women is much different from the methods used on a man so you made it look like they've been torturing you like a man. The pregnant look is to mess with his psyche since he has a woman of his own who's pregnant. "You can be so evil darling." You smile. "I know." You are then guided towards the lower levels and you spot papyrus talking to undyne and alphis while taking off some bloody gloves. He spots you and believing the makeup to be real freaks out. "___! Are you ok?! Who did this?! Were you raped?! How have you hidden your condition so long from me?!" He looks you over about ready to kill someone and you have to spend almost an hour convincing him it isn't real. Once he understood he sighs in relief and goes off about forewarning and how could mettaton employ a woman for such a dangerous job. Sexist yes but he means it as an act of chivalry not the Borish sexism G practices. "Wait so YOUR mettatons protege? He said you were a badass human gunning for monster rights. You look like a curvy little shrimp." Undyne muses peering at you. You only know her from what others told you. From the look on her face if it weren't for the fact you knew so many people here you'd be dead. "Good to know looks are still deceiving. Now where is this man who I'm to figure out who was the ring leader in a recent attack?" You are then brought to a door where yells and bangs are being heard after a minute sans comes out. He seems surprised to see you and then enraged. Oddly not at you. He's looking at the belly and fake bruises. He seems about to say something then he catches himself and stomps away into another room to torture another poor soul who isn't 'made' like the man in the room he came from. You ask undyne to rip your clothes a bit while you absolutely mess up your hair. "Now when you throw me in I need you to act like you would if I wasn't friends with your friends ok? Just don't go overboard alright? I still have a job to do and I want to be home in time for grilbys famous chili." The blue woman grins and does as asked. When the door opens you are throttled a little by the neck and called names as she yells at you to talk. You keep your lips shut and by script -tho it seems real- you spit in her face. That got you punched a little harder than undyne probably meant to but you don't blame her. You are then thrown in the room harshly and the door slams. You then cry for a few minutes for effect before trying to stand and then stumbling. You always were a good actor. The man tied to the chair in the middle looks up at you weakly before trying to escape. You saw that change in psyche all right. You weakly but quickly go to him and 'try' to undo his bonds but luckily he tells you to stop cause your hurt and they're magic bound. He seems angry about a woman being treated like this so you play on it. You suddenly wince and hold your belly. "What's wrong?" "I might lose my baby." "How'd you get in here anyways? A woman isn't supposed to be involved in these type affairs." "M-my husband attacked don asgores wife. Now he's hiding and I'm all alone. Their going to kill me." He bought it and oddly enough after a few minutes he started opening up. However before you could go in for the kill just then G stomps in and picks you up by the throat. Odd he's not hurting you. You get the notion immediately and play into it convingly pretending to cry and choke weakly. The look of disgust on his part is real tho but again oddly not on you in particular. Probably this is the first time you've ever looked weak to him. Even if it's fake it seems to do something to him. He keeps in character though and demands information about a guy who doesn't exist he throws her around a little and kicks her 'baby'. None of it hurt but you made it look like it did. Eventually after he 'gets bored' he throws you one last time and leaves. After that the guy was not only pissed but he spilled everything to you in a quiet rant. About why he and his friends attack monsters. You got four good names including the ringleader of it all. After a few minutes of 'planning' escape you press on your back pretending to be in pain but your really pressing a button that says I got the info pull me out. Undyne comes in twenty minutes later so as not to look suspicious. She yells some things and drags you out by your hair. Once out of the room she lets you go and fires a gun into the ground so he thinks your dead. "I got the info and more I hope you have fun. They frequent a bar I used to work at not only are they bad tippers but they don't know the word no very well. I can give you directions if you want." Undyne shakes her head unable to get a read on you. "I didn't think I'd ever find a human I can respect and yet here you are. I'll take your directions but one of these days we gotta spar. I wanna see that leg lock G brags about." He talks about you. Even brags? Why hasn't papyrus mentioned this to you? Hhmmmmm. You are drug out of your thoughts when mettaton insists on letting you clean up in his room. His room is as pink as ever with many fur coats in his closet. Almost looks like a rich woman's closet and room if your honest. "Darling I can't thank you enough for your help today. I'll leave some clothes for you to change into and you can use some of my makeup to hide any actual bruises you might've gotten while in that nasty room. Your face is far to pretty for this type of work. Almost makes me feel guilty. Almost." With that he lets you walk into his bathroom and you remove your filthy clothes before using mettatons makeup wipes to clean as much of the makeup as you can before hopping into the shower. You wash your hair and shave your legs with a new razor. No mettaton doesn't need one but it's pretty so he keeps them. By the time your done you smell like honey and strawberries. Expensive shit of course. Mettaton has a thing for bathing in diamond dust. You walk out of the bathroom and sigh. Oh look there's a cute purple blouse and a black vest with a matching black pleated mini skirt on the bed. Next to it is a pair of plum stilettos and some black thigh highs with purple bows that clearly go on the outer thigh. No way in hell are you wearing the cat collar tho. You drop the towel and pick up the blouse to get the bra you just noticed was underneath when G of all people walks in. "Hey mtt you know where my gun is?" You both look at eachother blankly for almost a minute before you get pissed and for some reason he gets afraid. Like pure unadulterated fear. You throw a chair at him and he ducks his head running out the door slamming it shut. However now you are flustered and panting from your exertion. It was only after you got dressed and your makeup done that it struck you just how yellow his face was. How oddly yearning his eyes were even though he was absolutely terrified. His blushing makes no sense tho. He constantly tells people how human bodies do nothing for him and how your body in particular disgusts him. And why would he be scared of you? You decide to brush the mystery of that assholes mind to the side and braid your hair. You leave the room and are escorted to the large living area where the other monsters hang out when not on the job. You vaguely notice G isn't there. Probably out 'working' again. You remember one time you found him passed out in an alley after he had taken out some fuckers on his hit list. He worked himself unconscious for days. He slept in your room at grilbys after you drug him into the bar five fucking miles from the alley you found him in. Of course you had Grilby tell him he found him. Didn't want to poke any fires or anything. Then again he might've known by the smell of the bed. Ehhhh nah.... he was purring and nuzzling the pillows in his sleep. He must have a thing for honey and strawberries. He seemed to get even more hateful after that. Probably around the time your fights got worse. You again brush the thoughts from your mind as you thank mettaton for letting you use his shower and ask to be sent home. He agrees of course but not before you stop him and tell him about his chair. "Don't worry darling I'll just put it on your tab.~" with that you are taken home and you fall face first into bed.