I, Dean Winchester, am in love with Castiel Novak ***UNDER EDITING***

Chapter 13

It had been a week since Dean died. But I didn't want to believe it. I couldn't do anything because everything reminded me of him. Like the green grass and trees outside reminded me of his sparkling emerald green eyes. And the beach would remind me of our time together and how happy we were. And now, all of that is gone.

One night it all was becoming too much, I had moved back with Raph and Gabe but I wasn't happy, they tried everything to help but I knew nothing would work. The love of my life is dead, I dont think anything will help.

So that night I ran, I ran wherever my feet would take me, which ended up being a large forest. I would through, weaving in and out of the trees as tears ran down my face. Thats when I came to a lake. I froze. Watching the water. It looked so peaceful, so calm. It beckoned to me to become a part of it.

I found an old boat on the side, tied to the dock. I untied it and began paddling.

"Would you know my name" I sang quietly to myself as I paddled out the the middle of the lake, "If I saw you in heaven?" I looked up at the sky as small rain drops began to fall.

"Would it be the same" my tears began pouring out of my eyes, but were masked by the rain., "If I saw you in heaven?"

I could feel the old wood underneath me. I could see the water around me, "I must be strong" I just sat there, drifting with the light waves that pushed themselves through the water, "And carry on," The sounds of the birds singing in the distance, "'Cause I know i don't belong" the quiet howling of the wind was all that I could hear as I sat in the old boat, "Here in heaven."

Tears began to prick in my eyes before slowly sliding down my face. My breath got caught in the back of my throat as I slowly stood up. I couldn't hold back the sobs anymore, the burst out of me but I knew no one would be able to hear me cry here, no one could hear my screams.

"Just do it" I cried to myself, as I sobbed. I stood at the side of the boat and jumped into the water. Swimming down into the lake as deep as I could go. Deeper and deeper into the water. Even though I had made up my mind, my body disagreed. I could feel my lungs screaming for air as my legs and arms thrashed around wildly. I tried to stop them but it was as if I had no control, it was so hard not to fight. With the air escaping from my lungs it felt as if a heavy blanket was placed over me.

I cant breath, I though, but this was what I wanted, this is what I had decided.

I could feel my heartbeat slowing down, the panic fading away from my body only leaving numbness. I tried to breath in but water filled my lungs, amd before I knew it my body gave up fighting and my mind began to slowly go blank.

This is the end, I thought. I'm going to die, I never even said...goodb-

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Im sorry its so short...and I'm sorry.

Its not the end just yet...

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