The Day I Met My Best Friend Again

Given The Chance, Would You Go, Or Would You Stay?

Given the chance would you go? Or would you stay?

I guess I should probably explain a little bit better.

Given the chance to run away from all your problems, from the mess that is your life, from all the drama and the bullshit, and the pain. Given the chance to leave it all, do you stay?

Not if you’re chicken shit.

Not if you’re like me.

No, if you’re like me, you cling to the chance to get away, and do it.  You go far away.

You go to Ireland.

You leave it all behind without so much as a glance back. And you can’t bring yourself to feel guilty.

That is, if you’re like me.

When Simon first called and told me that he thinks I should go back to school, back in Ireland. I didn’t want to. I didn’t want to leave all my new friends, and I didn’t want to go back to where it all began.

He told me that I could think about it.

Think about it…Yes that’s what I would do.

I was sure I would say no. I didn’t want to leave the tour. Besides the me and Niall drama, it was great.

But then I saw him.

I told him that I was sorry.

He told me that he hated me.

Whoa there buddy.

I guess I was leaving after all.

That’s why I’m here in the airport, waiting for my flight to board, alone.

I didn’t tell anyone I was leaving.

Not even Lou, the stylist.

I didn’t say goodbye to baby Lux, or the guys, or the girls, or Paul. I just faked being sick, and while they were at the concert I packed my bags and left. Aren’t they in for a rude awakening when they get back.

I didn’t tell them because I knew that if I did, they would try to convince me to stay. And I would. But I can’t stay. I can’t continue to put me and him through this pain.

Was I being chicken shit? Yes.

But I think I deserved this, after all the problems I faced head on, and most of the time alone. I deserved this, because I didn’t deserve any of that.

I didn’t deserve to have both of my parents taken from me by some idiot.

I didn’t deserve to have my uncle and grandpa taken from me by some drunken idiot.

I didn’t deserve to have my best friend up and leave me.

I didn’t deserve to have to watch my brother fade away because of some stupid disease.

I didn’t deserve to have my aunt taken from me.

And I sure as hell don’t deserve any of this.

I didn’t realize I was crying until I heard someone ask,

“Mam, are you alright?”

I looked up and nodded my head, wiping at my eyes.

“It’s time to board the plane.” I nodded and handed her my ticket.

I turned on my phone as I got off the plane It vibrated for about five minutes with unanswered calls and texts.

I called Louis, knowing that they would all be together.

It rang about two times before I heard an angry and panicked Liam.