Leaving The Past

Chapter 20: Forged From Ice

Catra glanced down at the cup that C'yra put on the table in front of her. Just what we it that the Queen could be wanting to tell her? What was this about the former queen that C'yra wanted to keep from Raiona?

Her mind was a whirl of possibilities as she turned her attention toward the Queen who seemed to be lost in thought.

“What did you want to tell me?” She prompted after some silence, earning a sigh.

“You said that we wouldn't understand what happened to you but that can't be farther from the truth.” The Queen began, her fist clenching where it was resting on the table as she averted her eyes.

“You know I lost my sense of control after Cain was subdued and that was something I hoped to never show either you nor Raiona, although I think you understand it a bit more than Rai would. After all, I think we got the lion's share of traits from my mother's side.”

Catra watched as her mother stood, tail lashing around in unease as she began to pace about the room. Never before had she saw the strong, intimidating woman look so distressed and agitated.

“Catra, how much have you learned in your classes about our history?”

C'yra began after a few minutes, glancing toward Catra who just shrugged.

“Only that Queen C'yra the first was the one who brought the elite families together under her strength and wisdom.” Catra replied, watching as a humorless smirk came over the Queen's face.

“And have you learned the three pillars yet?”

What is she getting at with this? We never talk about my lessons because she knows Anu is teaching me.Catra wondered before answering a bit unsurely “that's the things that make a good ruler right? Strength, Wisdom and Compassion?”

She hoped she was right.

“Yes and take a notice that only the traits Strength and Wisdom are associated with the reign of my mother. That is because while having good intentions, she lacked the compassion needed to guide anyone through hardship…..Even her own offspring.”

Catra wasn't sure what to say at that. What could she say? That she was sorry that C'yra had went through that? What help would that do?

“I guess it's not only The Horde that produces assholes huh?” She responded, earning a dry chuckle.

“I guess no matter what side you're on there are good and bad parts to everyone.” C'yra responded as she returned to her seat before sighing “She was distant, cold. The Royal family was expected to not only be the pillar of strength and knowledge but also to make sure that only their strongest would become next in line.”

C'yra became quiet for a few minutes then, eyes squeezing shut as if she was trying hard to forget something—or to muster up the courage to continue.

“I was always second best, seemingly twenty steps behind my older brother. When he….died….She turned all of the bitterness toward me. I joined the military just to get away from her...and then I met Tora.”

Catra saw the slight gleam in her mother's eye when she mentioned Tora and allowed a ghost of a smile to come over her face—even if she hid it behind her tea glass.

“How did you two meet?” Catra asked after a few minutes, earning a light smile.

“Would you believe it if I said he turned my fur purple when he tried to aim the spell at his brother?”  C'yra retorted, earning a snicker.

“I bet you were pissed.” Catra said, earning a nod.

“Oh yes, I totally was. Back then I was quite the hothead. But when his asshole brother Taki started laughing I may or may not have swept his feet from under him and made him land his fancy ass into a mud puddle.”  C'yra laughed before turning somber again.

“My mother was furious that I wouldn't marry the man she had picked for me...the man from the lesser clan of Linea. A warrior. She challenged me to a duel to prove my worth and no matter what she had did to me, I didn't want to draw blood. She was my mother but in the end, I had to….for the sake of my freedom.”

“Your freedom?” Catra repeated, earning a sigh.

“Catra, I was the third in line for the throne. I had an older sister who died from some kind of illness and then a brother who died from…..from suicide. All my life I had to prove that I was worthy of my noble blood. I had to work so hard just to get her attention and I vowed I would never make any kids I had feel the way I did. I couldn't make friends, I could only train and study and if I dared disobey my mother had rather….harsh punishments. I had to fight for everything I ever had.”

Catra couldn't believe what she was hearing. How could a princess face so much? How could C'yra—who never had lost her temper on either Catra or Raiona—have been from such a harsh environment?

“Your mom did all that? You don't act like you had it that hard.” Catra asked only to earn a sigh from her mother who stood again and walked over to her and gently patted the girl's shoulder.

“Yes Catra, she did but I made a promise to myself that I would never treat anyone the way my mother treated me and that I would be better than she was. A better ruler, a better friend, a better everything. Just because the past is shit doesn't mean your future has to be too.”