Leaving The Past

chapter 29: The Calm Before The Storm

“Where's Catra? Shouldn't she be down here by now?”

Tora sighed and glanced over at Raiona before stabbing a fork into his sausage.

“She had a hard evening yesterday. She wants to eat in her room...Which is why your mother is not here either. I need to ask Castaspella some questions or else I would have stayed with them.” Tora replied before glancing across the room at Amur who was showing off some flashy spell that he had no name for.

“Why don't you convince your cousin to show you around the island today? I know you haven't saw everything and if you're lucky he may teach you something...Heaven knows he likes showing off for those girls.” He added, earning a snicker from his youngest.

“You just want me to keep him from getting it a fight with some guy over a girl right?” She retorted, earning a smirk.

“Bingo. I can't have him ruining the peaceful atmosphere of Mysticor because he can't control himself. Just promise me that you won't have a drama filled love life. I have a feeling both your sister and your cousin are going to need a kick in the right direction to even get in a stable relationship.”

 

Catra sat staring down at the plate in front of her. Her mind was still a whirl of thoughts from the previous night—both from the training exercise that she had forced and from the immense kindness that she had felt from both C'yra and Tora.

He stayed the night as well….Like when Cain attacked me. I wasn't even hurt this time and I failed his training…. Everything in Etheria is so weird.

She thought as her ears flicked toward the other end of the room where C'yra was rummaging through her bags for some reason.

“Do you think he would understand if I didn't want to continue training with him?”  

Catra asked, hating how frail her own voice sounded and knowing the answer would probably be no.

After all, this was her own damn fault and she knew it.

“To be honest, I'd be surprised if he didn't make you take a break in training after last night. I never seen him so angry or worried. Whatever Shadow Weaver did to you...Whatever he saw...It hurt him too Catra.”

C'yra's response caught her by surprise—and confused her even more.

“Uh...What do ya mean it hurt him?” She asked, earning a sigh.

“He may be less affectionate with you than he is with Raiona but that is because he knows you don't exactly trust us. He loves you just as much as he does her and frankly no one messes with our family and gets away with it.”

Love…

It was a word she didn't really understand. In the Fright Zone she had heard it.

“Loved to climb.”

“Loved to fight.”

“Loved to win.”

But what did the word mean? What did it mean to love someone? Had anyone ever loved her? Had she ever loved anyone?

It made her head and—toma fuller extent—her heart hurt to just think about that.

“I've been with you for what? A month now? Maybe a month and a half? How can you love me? I mean…I'm basically nothing to you.” She couldn't keep the words at bay and almost instantly she felt the bed sink under C'yra's weight.

“Catra. I don't know who or what has hurt you so much in the past that makes you feel like you are never enough for anyone but I assure you that despite the circumstances, you found your way into our hearts. I can't explain what love is or what makes you love someone but I can say this: Love, in all its forms is an exercise.” C'yra began, chuckling a little when Catra scoffed at that.

“Oh yeah, you build it up by doing crunches….Sure.”

Rolling her eyes the queen put a hand on the girl's shoulder.

“What I mean is that no matter if it is unconditional, sometimes showing or knowing how to show someone that you care about them is hard. Like some parents come across as overbearing because they worry their child is going to be hurt and couldn't bear that thought. Others show it through gifts because they don't know how to let themselves be soft.”

She began, pausing for a moment before adding

“And just like Tora and I. We argue and disagree but we have had to learn how to compromise our different views on things and talk things through. That's how any relationship works, no matter what kind.”

“What was that girl thinking! She is lucky that nightmares was all that happens to her!”

Tora winced, ears pinning down at the exclamation from the sorceress.

“I know, Castaspella...We tried to talk her out of it but that girl is too damn stubborn. She has been hurt so much that she is terrified it will happen again and we're powerless in helping her! She acts so hard and confident but underneath it all is just a scared little girl trying to figure out why the world sees her as a monster.”

Tora replied, watching as the woman's expression darkened.

“That's awful but how will learning about dark magic help her?” she asked, earning a sigh

“I need to know just what in the seven layers of hell those bastards did to her. I need to know the effects it would have on her….How I can help.”