Life of a BLEEK

BLEEK

You know that girl? That girl in the hall you easily walk pass. Or that girl in class you didn't even know she was apart of it. Or what about the girl when they do roll call and she raises her hand and you're wondering "she must be new, since when she start going here?" It's me. I'm that girl. The Bleek of Harold B. Walker High. I've been the invisible ghost of HW halls for 3 years and I've been the Bleek of Cold Ridge county for all of my life. Most kids hear my name and their faces goes blank.

After realizing how much they truly don't care they say "don't know her" and easily push pass the conversation. Yeah, it must be the life. I mean nobody to go out with on the weekends since one of my best friends are in a college summit program and the other is focused on getting a cheer scholarship. To everyone's surprise we've been besties since sixth grade. Met at recess when Luck was showing Ace some moves and ace was shooting a ball. The ball bounced right off the gate into my face.

Not only leaving me with a black eye but two new friends. I'll never forget that day. The first day I was genuinely noticed. That day was the first time i noticed, nobody sees me. Like they see me and i exist, but they don't care for my existence. It was a scary thing but I've found comfort in it.  I can blend in, get around, and not have to worry about being the center of attention. The downsides however involved me never being invited anywhere, never being asked am I okay or if i need a shoulder to cry on.

I never really worried about any of it because if i need to cry, i had a pillow for that. It would be nice to cry on shoulders but it wasn't really my thing. I know i called it a downside but when you're used to the downsides more than brighter ones, they don't seem all that bad.

I did tend to question my sanity when i would catch me myself and I having a conversation. But again, my loneliness became my solitude and my solitude involved me depending on me and me only. It's not like my parents even noticed. After my sister, i was their golden child. There was no one above the other. We were both their babies, both of their hearts. We both mattered to them and i cherished that whole heartedly. The outside world may have considered me a merely meekly mouse but to my family, i was the brain, the heart, the glue. Hell, i was the whole damn package.

A bleek like me didn't have time for the parties the guys or the fun anyways. I had more important things to worry about. Things like scholarships and what did i want to do in life. What was even my gifts? Where did i even wanna go? More importantly who was I? I knew i was a bleek, i was a animal lover. I could sit and watch animal related things all day and listen to music. But i never really grasped Who was I? Was i the ghetto girl from around the way who popped her gum got her nails did every two weeks and listen to her city girls and Cardi b? Was i the posh girl who coordinated hair and outfits and went to mall and focused on my looks and making sure my style was all together? Or was i the bleek who just day dreamed and wondered what i could be? Maybe being a bleek is who i am.

The girl who observes from the wall. She's too shy to ask for what she wants but has enough balls to take it when necessary. Yeah that's most definitely me. That's all I'll ever be. The girl in life who cares for change but a little too slow at making it. I mean What's a nap or two when i have my whole life ahead of me. Or do I? Will i be the girl who grows into the woman with seven cats three dogs a fish and maybe a parrot for fun? Honestly it was too confusing but i knew one thing,

A bleek is always a bleek, and nothing will change it. Here's a little look at the life of a bleek.