That's why I..

Chapter One

Lexa POV

"That's why I..." I hear the words slip out my mouth and I know that I can't finish. I can't love Clarke. Hodnes laik kwelnes (love is weakness), that is what I have always been taught, that is what the commanders before me say and it is what I centainly believe. I used to think that they were all wrong but since what happened to Costia, I know that if I ever love someone I cannot ensure their safety.

Oh crap I didn't realise that Clarke has been staring at me. Looking at me with worry in her eyes. Those beautiful, blue eyes. I forgot that I've been silent for at least a minute or so. I need to say something otherwise she will worry more

"That's why you're you" I finally manage to blurt out. Is that seriously the best I could come up with?

Clarke seems somewhat satisfied by this and I can see the small and polite smile that she uses for professional gatherings on her face letting me know that she understands but doesn't have anything to say to that.

I can't let her leave without saying something.

That's exactly the moment that I remember from the limited time I have spent learning Skaikru traditions that if someone you care about is leaving for a while, there is a special sentence you say to them as a fairwell. I decide to mix this with a trikru tradition and hold my forearm out for Clarke and say "May we meet again"

Much to my relief Clarke understands the tradition and grasps my forearm and looks me directly in the eyes. I can't but glance down at her lips for a microsecond. Clarke unfortunately notices and I expect her to flinch and move away but she doesn't move. No wait she does move. She glances down at my lips and then uses my forearm which she is still grasping to pull me into her. She kisses me passionately. This kiss is a long time coming and it is obvious. All of Clarke and mine emotions are being poured into this kiss. The last time we kissed was before everything that happened at Mount Weather. I though that she would never forgive me for what I did to save my people. I know I never will. Leaving Clarke at Mount Weather will always be my biggest regret and the look on her face will be forever etched into my memory.

I am pulled from my thoughts as Clarke pushes me into a sitting position on the bed. I stare up at her and give her a look to say that we don't have to do anything she doesn't want to, remembering what she said to me last time about how she wasnt ready to be with someone, not yet. Clarke just looks me in the eyes, smiles and pushes me back onto the bed.

God I do love her.

Writers note: Hey guys!! This is my first experience with writing anything and it's probably really trash but I hope you like it. To start off with I will write a chapter or so when I feel like it, which will probably be every couple days. But if this gets popular I might start writing to a schedule. I haven't really decided.