(Completed) The best thing I ever have [Sana x Reader]

Chapter 17: The burden

Y/N's POV

"Nayeon-a, I really envy the relationship between you girls.

Seriously, not to brag, but I do have a lot of friends back in hometown. However, to be honest, I don't think I have any friends that I can share everything with, like heart to heart kind.

At least.... not about my relationship.....

HA... funny right?" I was looking down and steering the coffee that was served by Seungyeon noona, and I am thinking whether I should spill it out....

It's really hard to keep everything within and with no one to share with...

My feelings
My thoughts
My relationship

with Sana....

"Isn't it normal that guys don't share their emotions? At least that's what I heard.....

Emmmm..... Actually, if you don't mind, I would love to listen to you. You can always share with me. I promise that I won't say a word to others, even with my BFFs.

Really! I swear!

I don't mean to intrude though if you don't want to. It's just that I can see something is always bothering you, like a burden or something. But....

Argh... Ai.... As you can see, I am not those who likes to hide my emotions and stuff. So....em.... well... I don't do this often....but.... em..... hey.... I want to tell you something, but it does not change our relationship, k?  We will still be friends no matter what you think and ......" Nayeon tried to comfort me but ending up fidgeting and rambling on something...

"Go ahead, it's not like the Nayeon I know, the one who insist me calling her 'Noona', that one. She does not just ramble around, and yea, of course we will still be friends no matter what you say.

But of course, if you say you hate me, I might needa rethink this promise...

Hey, what's that look man, I was just joking, spill it." I tried to ease her feeling, though I can feel what will be coming up, hopefully it's not what I think as I cannot get involved like that again.....

"Emmm.... Sana and I were discussing about you just now as you might notice.... It's really non of my business actually, but.... I feel that you and Sana have something in between you guys, I am not sure what but you guys know each other before this. Am I right?" Nayeon asked, quite bluntly actually, but that's her character, which I kinda admire of. No non sense in a way.

In a way, I am glad that's not what I thought she might say, but I am really not sure whether I could tell her the relationship between me and Sana... It's like a secret... or like what she said, even a burden to me actually to me.....

While I was deciding whether to say or not, there was a long silence. Nayeon just quietly having her drink and cake, waiting for my answer. She's more considerate than I though she would be as she usually acted like a child.

"Y/N, it's fine if you don't want to talk about it. Everyone has a secret, and I am not the one to intrude or be rude. It's just the look between two makes me feel there are something between you guys....." After a long silence, Nayeon said to me softly while looking at me sincerely.

"You don't have to tell me now, but are ready and need to talk to someone, I just want you to know that I am here.

You might have felt it, and yes, I admit, I like you. I am not sure myself whether it is in a romantic way or not, but I want to be close to you if you are ok with that. We can just be friends, and yea, as I said which you promised as well, just reminding you in case you forget already, we will stay as friends no matter what. So...."

"...She's my fiancé, and I know that since I was like 2." Before she can finish her sentence, I just feel like spilling out the truth to her, which actually make me feel much better as I have never, like never ever admit this to anyone about this relationship. Not even my closest friend in my hometown or to the special one, which I hated that as I really want to be honest them.

"It's arrange marriage by our families, like what you see on TV drama actually.

Since young, I have always travel to Japan or she might come over to Hong Kong during holidays like summer, winter vacations, Easter, or even term breaks and sometimes even just a long weekend so that us two can try to get close. But we never really did get close, at least not the type we can talk freely to each other due to this relationship.....

You might ask whether I have any other relationship except this, and yes, I did, unfortunately. And only one."

I am not sure what goes into my mind then, I was spilling it all out. The stone on top of me all the time, the burden in my life. I couldn't hold it anymore that I need to spill it out...

"I always remind myself that I should not fall in love with anyone as I know it will not end well.

It was so wrong and it will hurt both mine and the one I love back in my school. I couldn't help it. I love her. I want to just ignore her then and just leave it and thought the feeling will just fade away but no... we have mutual feelings and somehow, we were together one day and started dating....

I was the one who broke it up as I feel like I am cheating to her. I love her, really. I couldn't help myself from loving her actually and still am.

My grandparents caught it once and I am actually at the right age now that me and Sana should start living together and get to know each other and these shit you know. Till the legal age, we should get marry. That's basically my story....." I can feel the tears coming out, so I tilt my head backwards and tried to stop it from coming down, but failed. How ridiculous to cry in front of a girl.....

"I am sorry you have to hear this...." I closed my eyes and tried to calm myself down but just thinking of all those memories in the past that I had been FORCED to leave behind....

Suddenly I felt  warmth embracing me.

"It's ok to be emotional. As said, I am here. And will be here for you, no matter what..." A soft, calming voice from Nayeon with a comfort, warm hug. Just a hug, I can feel that, like a mother to her son....

"I am sorry...."

"Shhhhh.... Let's stay like this for a while... everything will be fine... we can talk later."

And she wraps her arms around me and held me in in that position for a long time......