(Completed) The best thing I ever have [Sana x Reader]

Chapter 20: It's long due

Happy 🍓🍓 day. I love the album and all the songs! Let's continue to stream the MV!

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We apologised to each other at the same time, and we just stayed in this position for a while. Just like when we were kids.....

"Shh.... shhh, Sana, get change first and let's finished dinner first. I want to talk to you, k?" I whispered in her ears. So much that I don't want to let go of her as I can still hear her sobbing on my chest, but i can hear her stomach grouching at the same time.....

"You must be famished. The food will be ready soon. Go refresh and get changed, ok? I did put some extra pepper to cheer you up. Please don't take a shower first if possible, the food will not be tasty after 1 hour." I tried to ease her embarrassment from teasing her and went back to cook, but I can feel that she's still staring.

"Go now. What are you staring at?" I looked up again and she's standing there, looking at me like a lost kid, the same look I recalled.... she cried over my shoulder for sooooo long, so long that my shirt went all wet and the sky went dark.... her eyes went dark as well......

"Y/N, why are you still being nice to me all these time? Why are you putting up with my attitude when I am not in the mood?" she state calmly as if she's the third person "you don't even like me."

"I am not sure why you think like that but...."

"You said you hated me when I was 10. I heard you it myself. My own ears. You said it in front of ojiisan...."

I was shocked at what she said as I cannot recall at all till now. The day she cried so hard. It explains the expression that marked in my memory for so long, the expression that gives me a heartache by just simply remembering it......

"......Sana..... I don't know what to say...., let's talk about this later......You need to eat first. I didn't see you really have lunch either today, so...."

"I don't have appetite right now. I want to know now." She started to get frustrated and impatient "Because of me, you don't have your childhood close friends; because of me, you aren't even be allowed to play with any female friends when you were in Japan, not even when you are a kid; and now, because of me, even you had a girlfriend that you loved a lot I assume back home and you need left her to be here as demanded by the elders and your family. So you must hate me now. Why? I need to know why!"

"Sana, listen. I said we will talk about this later. Now is time for dinner. So let's get ready." I tried to stay cool and hold her down cause if I go wild as well, she will just get out of control.

"No, I...."

"Look, I am just gonna repeat myself one more time. If you are not going to get change and have dinner, you can just leave it then! I said we will talk later!! Can you just calm down first and get change then eat!? " I started increasing my tone and demand her to do as I said as I have lost patience. She's trying so hard to get under my nerves as well and I nearly cannot hold back my temper and explode "if you don't, I will do it for you. Now, go!"

"As if you will...." She said quietly and I can barely hear what she said and suddenly she just yelled "FINE, I need to know the answers TONIGHT! You promise?"

"Yes yes, I promise. This talk is long due and we need to sort it out before it's too late and we can only do is to regret about everything. So yes, your majesty, can you please go refresh yourself and... oh gosh! Can you just be careful when you walk!? How can you trip over at home when you had lived here for like 3 months now!?... Wait, you can actually, you tripped over at your own home where you have been living in since you are born~! 🤔 Never mind what I said, I take it back."

"Aish! You are such a brat who just talks shit! Quickly prepare the dinner and we can talk soon!!   😭 Hiiinnnnnggg... it hurts!!! Hey, maybe we should have carpet in our home so it won't hurt that much...." Sana stood up and walked to her room while 'massaging' her sore ass. That's how fast she can change her mood as well - from depressed (?) to desperate to this..... woman.....

~~ Time Skip ~~

We didn't say much during the dinner, unlike usually we would have some small fights, arguments and teasing, there's just silence......

"I am finished. It's really nice. Wouldn't it be too spicy for you?" She asked in concern.

"It should be fine. Just max my limit. Hey, I will do the washing and you go shower first, ok? We talk after in the living room."

"Ne."

We were so polite to each other that makes the atmosphere really awkward.

While Sana is washing up, I did the dishes and I think some alcohol will help us to open up to each other. So I got some beer out and soju.

"I guess she will take quite a while... lemme try to make some soju bomb like the one I saw on internet...." I mumbled to myself.

I am not sure how much I drank by myself and started to feel tired. Then I just sit on the sofa with my eyes shut to try to straighten myself before the talk but memories just flushing back....

We were close, so close. Inseparable. Texted/message every day, even from far. She was totally depended on me; I was so keen to meet her during vacations.

We played together; we promised to have each other's back whenever we need; we had common childhood friends; we had our own secret spot; we shared what we liked; we prank the people we don't like.... sooo much memories..... so much good mutual memories...

Then.... everything seems to fall apart....

We started to argue, we started to fight; we started to ignore each other; we separated ourselves from each other; we blamed each other for everything; I fell in love with another woman at home; I hated going to japan to meet her...... so much hate....

How did we turn into this? When did it started to change? Is it because it was an arranged marriage at start? Is it because of her emotional attitude? Is it because of the long distance? The cultural difference? The language barrier? What is it? What is the moment that changed everything?

Why did I said I hate her back then? What triggered that to happen? When did we started to have no respect to each other? When did we started to keep secrets from each other? I cannot recall.... what makes us further and further.....

There are just too many good and better memories rushing through my mind while tears started to flow out of my eyes unconsciously.

Unsolved questions in my head but I just can't recall what actually happened. There are so much, sooo much that I simply cannot process.

How am I gonna answer her questions when I can't answer them myself?