Give In (Unstable #1)

Chapter 1

"Elisa, hatid na kita?" I heard a voice beside me. Hindi ko maiwasan na mapairap, he never left my side. I want him to leave, but he never did.

"Suit yourself." He smiled and carried my stuff. I started to walk, intentionally slowing my pace. Hindi ko kasi alam kung saan naka park yung kotse niya sa parking lot, so I made him lead the way. Besides, hindi ako tatantanan ng isang 'to hangga't hindi niya nakukuha ang matamis kong oo. What I mean by that is letting him escort me home.

Akala niya siguro, I would attempt to go at my ex's house. Why would I even do that?

Syempre, kasi mahal ko pa. I can't let him go. I still can't.

We were inside at his car and he started the engine, while I was doing something with my phone. Minessage ko agad si Jiro para sabihin na pupunta ako sa bahay niya.

'Hey, I'll go there for today. Could you wait for me?' I sent it to him and waited for his reply. Umaasang mag rereply pa siya. Uuwi ako, or let's just say, ihahatid ako netong mokong na 'to pauwi but that's just it. Hindi naman niya malalaman na I was still chasing my ex, even though alam ko na wala na talaga. Na hindi na talaga babalik si Jiro.

While I was busy texting Jiro, updating him what happened today, this mokong suddenly got my attention when he coughed. I looked at his way and raised my brow.

"What? Make it quick so I could go home." He stared for a couple of seconds and I stared back. Kadalasan talaga hindi ko maintindihan kung anong nasa utak ng lalaki na 'to. He's hard to decipher even though he's an open book. Weird right?

Umiwas siya ng tingin and what he said shook me to the core.

"Wanna go to a hospital?" I started to sweat. Hindi ko alam kung bakit niya isinusuggest 'yon sakin, pero kung alam niya ang nangyayari sakin, this is bad. I can't let anyone in. I started to forget chasing Jiro for the day when he brought out this topic.

"Bakit? May bibisitahin ba tayo?" I asked nervously. Long gone was the girl trying to chase an ex, it was replaced by a hyperventilating one. Nagsisimula na akong mag panic at pawisan. I made sure he wouldn't know! I was a good actress, alam ko kung anong ginagawa ko. Alam ko na magaling akong umarte na okay ako because no one bothered asking me if there's something wrong with me. I'm okay. Hindi ako mahina. There's nothing wrong with me.

He looked at me again, pero biglang lumukot yung mukha niya.

"Elisa, are you okay?" He looked worried. Sinubukan niya akong hawakan, but I suddenly flinched. Suddenly, everything is suffocating me. Pakiramdam ko ay pag nag kulong o nag tagal pa ako sa kotse na 'to ay baka hindi ko na mapigilan ang sarili ko na 'wag umiyak.

"I'm okay, could we go home na? I think it's not the right time for me to accompany you at the hospital. Pagod na kasi ako ngayong araw eh." Pagdadahilan ko. Kung kaya niya ako na pilitin ihatid niya ako sa bahay, sa ngayong pagkakataon, hindi niya ako mapipilit. This is Alry we're talking about, pakiramdam ko ay alam na niyang wala siyang mapapala sa akin ngayon dahil kahit anong pilit pa niya na isama ako sa hospital ay hindi ako sasama. I had some bad memories there that I don't want to remember. It haunts me at my sleep.

"O-okay." He stuttered. Worry was etched at his face. Hindi pa din nawala yung masamang pakiramdam ko. Dahil naalala ko nanaman yon, pakiramdam ko ay magkakaroon nanaman ako ng masamang panaginip ngayon gabi.

"Are you really okay, Elisa?" He asked once more. His eyes still at the road. Bahagya akong napangiti at paunti unting umaayos ang pakiramdam ko. Ramdam ko namang gusto lang akong tulungan ni Alry pero sa ngayon, hindi ko pa kailangan ang tulong niya. Hindi pa ako handa.